She told me all the time that I wasn’t a monster or a freak. Mostly, I believed her. But the kids in school thought I was weird. I guess my mutation showed or something, I dunno.
I was sitting at the table, helping Tennessee with dinner, when I got up the nerve to ask her a question that had been poking around my brain.
“Hey, Tenny?”
“Mmhmm?”
“Remember that time you told me all the people in your family were named after states?”
She smiled. “I did say something like that. Not everyone, though. My brothers Dakota and Montana, yes, and then me, Tennessee. All because my daddy’s name was Washington. But my mama, her name was Charlotte.”
“I like that. Um…I was wondering…if it’s okay with you, and if you say no, I understand.”
She dropped her green beans onto the towel and took my hand. “Whatever it is, Mitchell, you go on and say it. You know there’s nothing you can’t ask me.”
“Ok, maybe once I’m eighteen, and I’m an adult, I can change my name.”
She cocked her head. “You want to get rid of your name, Mitchell?”
I nodded. “My parents named me that, and they didn’t want me. I hate hearing my name.”
She pursed her lips and smirked. “What name were you thinkin’?”
She wasn’t saying no yet, but as soon as she heard the name and why, would she reject it, not wanting me to be part of her family traditions?
“I was thinking Pennsylvania? Penn for short, like people call you Tenny.”
“You want to…” She covered her mouth with her hand and I braced for rejection, but it didn’t come. A single tear fell down her cheek. “Why do you want that name, dear boy?”
I took a deep breath. “I want to be your family, Tenny, and it makes me feel like I am every time I think of my name as Pennsylvania.”
She wiped her cheek and beamed. “When you turn eighteen, if you still feel that way, I’ll help you change your name. I’d be honored…Penn.”
She never called me Mitchell again. Only Penn—or if I was in trouble, Pennsylvania. And two days after my eighteenth birthday, she kept her word. Soon enough, Mitchell was officially dead and Pennsylvania was born.
CHAPTER ONE
Present Day
Pennsylvania
I’d beenin Northchester for two weeks and unlike the last town I’d stayed in, this one seemed more my speed. While people looked you in the eye here, they also left you the fuck alone. I’d gotten a job at a dive bar doing whatever they needed—mostly bar backing. I didn’t so much have to work as I would go stir crazy without it.
Three years ago, Tennessee passed away. To my surprise, she left me her house and savings. I sold the house, and with the money she’d willed me, I was comfortable. Lonely, but comfortable.
I’d thought her family would have given me a hard time but they hadn’t. They were good to me, kind. Once I’d explained that I couldn’t stay, that everything around me reminded me of her,they didn’t stop me. They told me to stay safe, and of course I had all their numbers stored in my phone just in case.
I talked to them here and there but never returned. I knew Tenny would be upset that I wasn’t putting down roots and making friends, but it wasn’t easy for me. While it wasn’t lost on me that I’d walked away from her family, finding a new family wasn’t going to happen. I was a twenty-eight-year-old man who, no matter how many times Tenny had told me I wasn’t, felt like a monster.
I didn’t want to get to know someone only for their smile to turn into disgust the moment they realized what a freak I was. I liked when people thought I was normal…boring.
“Hiya, Penn.” I looked up and saw Mrs. Mayne rolling her trash bin to the curb. I hurried to grab it for her.
“Evening, Mrs. Mayne.”
She chuckled. “You don’t need to do that for me.”
She wasn’t old or frail, but Tenny had always said that manners never took a vacation, and it was the polite thing to do.
