“Lukas.” I exhaled loudly. “Natalie and Ben are my family, yes, but I love you.”
He chuckled. “I didn’t say that to make you feel obligated to say you love me, though I do enjoy hearing it.”
“How would I even do this? They trust and love me but if I go on telling them this, they’ll call Dr. Marin and tell him I’m hallucinating.”
“I can be with you when you tell them if you’d like and then leave you all to talk. Sam.” He sighed. “You need to talk to them and while it’s very unorthodox to allow this, I trust them to keep this secret.”
“Come here.”
He rose—with Bubbles in his arms, of course—and came to sit beside me. I opened my arms for the fluff ball and as soon as she settled, he took my hand in his.
“You said to me at the hospital that fighting is what you knew, that you’d lost and found faith, and that the thought of not seeing your parents or watching your friends grow old is a huge deal for you. And I get that, but you’re spinning all this in your head alone. Maybe talking to them could help.”
“Help me decide to turn?” I smirked. I couldn’t blame Lukas for campaigning for his side, but this could backfire. They might not see turning as the best idea.
“Help to ease your fears of both outcomes. I told you, whatever you chose I wasn’t going anywhere, Sam. I meant that.”
“I know.”
“So, what do you say?”
It was a horrible idea and I wasn’t sure it would end well, but I owed it to Lukas to do this. And if Nat and Ben, by some insane reason, believed me and told me not to do it, he’d respect it.
“Okay, I’ll tell them but, Lukas, you still owe me a promise.”
His nostril flared. “I can’t promise the unknown. I only understand what I’ve been told, and I’ve seen what happens when an eternal does not wish to be turned, Sam.”
“Then fight it.”
“Fight what? I can’t fight what I have no control over any more than you can,” he shouted. “There is one choice that saves each of us, one, that’s it. If you perish, I perish. I can’t offer you an empty vow, Sam.”
“So this decision is for both of us, not just me.”
Lukas huffed and leaned into me, resting his forehead to mine. “I love you, Sam, and I couldn’t think of anyone I’d want to choose my fate than you.”
I swallowed, my eyes burning. “It’s not fair that my choices should affect you. You should make your own.”
He smiled and pressed his lips to mine briefly. “And I choose eternity with you or no eternity any longer.”
“Oh, Lukas,” I cried. “How is any of this fair?”
He pushed back, cupped my face, and wiped my tears away with his thumbs. “How about we go take a shower? Ben will be here in a little bit—apparently you’re healed enough, he said. Enjoy your time with your friend. You don’t have to tell him orNatalie anything today. Just be friends. And then when the two of them have time, we can sit them down. How’s that sound?”
“Yeah.” I sniffled. “I especially like the shower part. Naked, wet you is one of my favorite yous.”
He snorted. “I happen to love wet you, too.”
I exhaled a watery chuckle and let him help me up. “What I’m hearing is that this is self-serving.”
He smirked, and it was as if all sadness left the room. “I’m always selfish when it comes to you, Sam.”
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Lukas
After Ben arrived,I left Sam’s apartment to give them time alone. I took the boat to Lancaster Island and did some mundane work. There was never much for me to do, and all too soon, I was done. I was relieved Sam had agreed to talk to Natalie and Ben, and I hoped they’d see my side on this, but I’d accept Sam’s wishes no matter how painful they were.
When the sun began to set, I returned to shore. With Sam cuddled in my arms I listened to him tell me about his visit with Ben, how Emily was doing all she could to guarantee the baby didn’t go beyond their due date. He fell asleep with a smile on his face, and I wished more than anything that I could freeze moments. He was happy, felt fine, was at peace. But I didn’t have that power, and all too soon that peace was shattered.
