He squeezed my hand. “Thank you, Lukas.”
I was glad to be in Sam’s orbit again, but my heart was shattering. He was fighting a battle he didn’t have to for a cause that didn’t have to exist for him. I could make it all go away for him, but he wouldn’t let me.
I’d keep my word and wouldn’t pressure him, but I was sure as hell going to show Sam that life was worth living and that forever was ours.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
Sam
It wasfive in the morning when Lukas knocked on my door. Natalie would come by in a couple of hours so I fed Bubbles, gave her squishes, and opened to find Lukas in a pair of dark pants and a burgundy button-up shirt. It was likely the most casual I’d seen him.
His smile was a little wobbly. “Ready?”
“Sure.”
I’d be coming home today but they were doing three biopsies, so it would take a while. I’d likely just want to pass out as soon as I got home.
Downstairs a car waited with a driver. I rolled my eyes, but Lukas held the door open for me.
The ride was fairly quiet. I’d done this song and dance before and while I wasn’t nervous for the actual procedures, it was what the results would say that scared me.
I glanced at Lukas. He was staring out the window, his jaw clenched and hands fisted at his sides. He was barely holding it together. I reached over and covered his fist with my hand.
He turned his head, his eyes softened, and he opened his hand for me. We didn’t say anything, just held on to each other.
When we got to the hospital, it all came back to me. Checking in, getting my wristband, being instructed what floor to go to. A cheerful nurse greeted us when we got off the elevator and brought us to a curtained-off area. I peered up, station four.
I half listened while he gave me instructions. I didn’t really need them; I knew. Instead, I watched Lukas. He listened intently to every word, nodding where he was supposed to, asking questions I already knew the answers to.
I didn’t question that he loved me, and I needed to tell him that I loved him too. When the nurse left, he faced me.
“What do you need me to do?”
Oh, how that question hit me right in the heart. He’d do whatever I needed, even though I could see this was killing him. His eyes didn’t sparkle, his happiness was forced, and if he had a heartbeat, it would likely be pounding.
“Nothing, I just have to get changed into the gown.”
“I’ll give you privacy.”
He went to leave, and I grabbed his hand. “Stay.”
He gave a single nod. I undressed, and he took each article of clothing and put it in the clear bag. He folded everything and wrapped my sneakers in a separate bag. Damn, how was that making my chest ache?
I got onto the gurney, and Lukas immediately put a warm blanket on me.
“Thanks.” I smiled, and he took my hand.
“Anything for you.”
Anything. He meant it. He’d give me forever; I just had to say yes.Why couldn’t I say yes?
“Hi, Sam.”
I looked up as Dr. Marin pulled the curtain open. He wasn’t performing the biopsies, but I wasn’t surprised he was here.
“Hi, Dr. Marin. This is Lukas my…uh.”
“Boyfriend,” Lukas answered without a hiccup and held out his hand.
