I scoffed. “Fear?”
“Fear you’ve connected to someone deeper than you ever have. Fear that if something happened to them and they ceased to exist, you’d crumble. We mingle among humans, Lukas, but we are not them. Our monsters love more intensely than our human side ever has. We don’t do fated mates like the wolves do, but I’ve explained to you that feeling when it all connects and you no longer can see infinity without that person. Maybe Sam is that for you.”
“But why didn’t I feel anything when I first met him?”
Vincent sighed. “Like I said, we aren’t like the wolves. You didn’t want to see anything but when it was in front of you, there was no choice.”
“Vincent.” I stopped pacing and plopped down on my couch. “If I tell him and he runs or says anything or…what then?”
“Do you think he’d do any of that?”
“Who knows? I’ve heard of vampires telling humans and them freaking out…it’s why we have all those dumb books about us that are completely false. Humans’ erratic reports to authorities and wild public statements with regard to our kind forced the council to start the folklore with books. Everyone loves a fairy tale.”
“Yes, and we’ve dealt with such things. He won’t be harmed, if that’s what you’re worried about. The council hasn’t executed humans in a millennium.”
“But…”
“But you’d lose him? Is that what you’re saying?”
I hung my head. “Yes.”
“And what do you feel when you think of him leaving you? Running and shunning you?”
Goddamn this man.“Fear.”
“Because you care…because he’s your eternal companion, Lukas.”
“Shit.” I gripped the sofa; the sound of tearing as I dragged my nails through it filled the room.
“Look, don’t freak out. Take some time, spend it with him. You’ll know for sure soon enough. Then, bring him to your home and tell him. If Sam is as wonderful as Amanda told me he was—and from what I saw at the gala, he is—he will believe you, and he will understand.”
“Of course he’ll believe me; I’ll show him.”
“Mmhmm. Remember that companion Theodore told? The poor man thought he was crazy, admitted himself into an institution.”
“That’s not helping, Vincent. I don’t want Sam to think he’s nuts.”
“He won’t…believe in him and you. It’ll work out.”
“How do you know?”
“I just do.”
After our call ended, I sat on the couch for a while. Winston brought me a mug of warm blood and promised to have the couch replaced as soon as the weather permitted. All I could do was grunt and stare out the window, my thoughts on Sam.
Was Vincent right? Was the feeling I had what I’d suspected all along? Would he understand and embrace eternity with me? So many questions and none I had answers to. I’d have to take Vincent’s advice. I’d spend more time with Sam, make completely certain he was the one. If he was, I’d tell him and hope for the best.
If he ran, would I chase him? I hated all this so much. The unknown…yes, I was stressed, but it was because of the fear.
I watched the lightened sky turn dark. The stars made their appearance, peeking between heavy clouds while the moon shined its spotlight on the world. I never moved; my mind spunlike a never-ending wheel. By the time the sun rose, signaling a new day, I didn’t have the clarity I’d hoped for.
The storm had ended, and I was determined to take the boat to shore and see Sam. I wasn’t sure of what was going on inside my head, but I knew there was something bothering him. Perhaps finding out what that was would settle me.
I showered since it had a way of relaxing me, and I wanted to be calm when I saw Sam. I dressed and was on my boat before eight. I didn’t know if Sam was working today or if the store was even open. If not, I’d go to his apartment…yes, that was my plan, and having a plan was already making me feel better.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Sam
