It’s Damien. He sounds half-crazed, the way he gets when he’s terrified that something’s wrong. I see him through the glassdoor, still in his boxers and no shirt, hair a riot, eyes wild. The second he spots me outside, the tension breaks in his shoulders, and he bolts for the door.
He bursts out onto the veranda, grabbing me into a hug so tight my coffee sloshes over the rim, soaking my wrist. “Jesus Christ, Blue,” he breathes, voice shaking. “You scared the hell out of me. I woke up, and you were just… gone.”
I put the cup down next to me and wrap my arms around him, sinking into his warmth, feeling the last of the night’s shadows bleed out of me. “I’m sorry. I just needed a minute. I couldn’t stay in bed. I’m okay, I promise.”
He pulls back to search my face, checking for any sign of the old panic, any trace of regret. I give him a shaky smile, and he finally relaxes, brushing my hair off my forehead, thumb gentle along my cheek. “Did you eat?”
“Toast,” I admit. “And my meds. I’m okay.”
He grins, that slow, crooked smile that always gets me. “Good boy,” he murmurs, and I can’t help but blush at the endearment. “Don’t scare me like that, okay? Not after—”
I glance away, embarrassed by how much I like the way he worries. “I’m fine, Mien. Really. I just needed some air.”
His eyes soften, and he slides his hand up to cup my jaw, thumb brushing just under my cheekbone. “You sure? If you need to go back to bed—”
“No.” I shake my head, cutting him off. “I want to be awake today. I want to feel normal, at least for a little while.”
He studies me, still unsure, but the tight lines around his mouth ease as he realizes I mean it. “Alright,” he says, brushing his lips over my temple. “Just don’t vanish on me, okay? Not after this week.”
I nod, biting back a smile. “Not planning on it. I needed to think about last night. About my dad and what comes next now that I refuse to be his prodigy.”
He takes my cup from the bench and places it on the floor, sits down next to me, and pulls me into his lap. I settle there easily, legs draped across his, my head resting under his chin.
“You don’t have to do any of that alone, you know. I meant what I said. I’ll take care of you.”
I smile, but it’s bittersweet. “I know, but I have to face some of it myself, too. I need to go talk to the Dean and to Coach to tell them I’m leaving Blackthorne and giving up my scholarship for my health and sanity. I can’t do this for anyone but me anymore.”
He nods, arms never leaving my waist. “I’ll go with you if you want. I’ll stand there and back you up if they try to give you any shit. But… are you really sure, Blue?”
“Yeah.” I close my eyes and lean fully into his chest, breathing him in. “I don’t want to swim anymore. I never really did. I like photography. I want to see what I can do when I’m not running from everything I am.”
After a moment, he nudges my chin up so I’m looking at him. “I talked to my dad last night. He said if you want—if you need—he’ll take you in for a while. He’s got the apartment with his husband in New York on the Upper West Side. It’s quiet. Close to Central Park. Plenty of places to take photos. You wouldn’t owe him anything.”
The offer lands heavy and sweet, something real I never expected. I blink fast, fighting the sting in my eyes, the warmth in my chest spreading until I think it might carry me away. “You’d do that?He’ddo that?”
“In a heartbeat,” Damien says, and I stare at him, still too stunned to speak. “He’s known I was in love with you since… fuck, since the first time I left. He wants to help you, Blue. You’d have your own space and time to heal and rest. There would be no expectations, just peace.”
The tears threaten more fiercely, but I blink them back. I want to be brave now. “I don’t know what to say,” I whisper.
“Say yes,” he says. “Say you’ll let yourself be taken care of with love, for once.”
I think about it—the apartment, the stillness, the escape from everything that’s haunted me since I was old enough to swim. Then I nod slowly. “I love you,” I say, steady and real, the truest thing I know. “Thank you for making it feel like I have options again.”
He grins, all pride and affection, and kisses the top of my head. “I love you, too. And I meant what I said—I’m not letting you go through any of this by yourself. You want New York? We’ll pack a bag and go. You want to stay here, lie in bed all day, I’ll hold you. Whatever you need, Blue.”
We sit there for a long time, letting the morning grow brighter around us, the house slowly stirring back to life. I watch as Ryan staggers across the lawn in his pajamas, muttering about coffee. I hear Luca and Sage singing in the kitchen, and Julian yelling at someone over a misplaced laptop. The sounds I hated a few months ago now feel like home to me.
I know it’ll hurt walking away from everything I’ve known. I know the future isn’t suddenly easy or perfect, just because I said the right words or stood up to the right person. But this—this choice, this love, this slow, ordinary Saturday—is the start of something that belongs to me.
And for the first time in my life, I think I might actually be excited to find out what happens next.
Damien
It’sararewarmfall day today. The sun’s got teeth this afternoon, biting into my bare shoulders as I sit at the edge of the pool with Noah practically folded in my lap. There’s a pair of cheap sunglasses perched on his nose, his blue hair damp, and every so often, he wriggles against me, just to hear me complain and wrap my arms tighter around his waist.
I told him I wasn’t letting him sit anywhere else, and if he wants to fight me on it, he’ll lose. He looks so stupidly beautiful in the light—his skin flushed, legs bare, old scars silvered against his thighs and arms—and he’s exuding the kind of happy that’s so new on him, it still feels like a privilege to witness. Every time I see him laugh, my chest aches in a way that’s got nothing to do with pain.
There’s color in his face, a lightness in his eyes I haven’t seen in months. It knocks the air out of me every time I look at him. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that—how he fits so perfectly in my arms, how every time he leans back, it’s like he’s giving mea little more of himself than before. I press a kiss to his temple, letting my hand drift up and down his arm while trying to tune out the chaos that is the backyard.
