And then he’s right there with me—his rhythm falters, hips jerking, and he groans deep in his chest as he spills inside me, voice ragged and raw as he curses against my throat. His whole body shudders on top of mine, and I hold him through it, every muscle in my body humming, my skin slick with sweat, cum, and everything that makes this feel like more than just goodbye.
He doesn’t move as he breathes against my neck, body heavy and warm and trembling slightly from the crash. Instead, he presses a soft kiss to my temple, then to my cheek, then finally to my lips—slow and messy and full of everything he hasn’t said yet.
When he finally moves, it’s gentle. He pulls out with a soft groan, hands cupping my jaw. “You okay?” he asks.
My throat’s tight. I nod, but I don’t say “yeah.” I don’t say “I’m fine.”Because I’m not. I’m cracked open and filled with him, and I don’t want to say goodbye again.
So, I wrap my arms around him, fingers sliding into his damp curls, and hold him there while pretending I can keep him with me forever. “I’m proud of you.”
He smiles against my skin and lets out a contented sigh. “I know. I feel it every day.”
Later, I watch him walk down the hall, bag slung over his shoulder, shoulders squared in that familiar way. He turns once more, just before the elevator, catches my eye, lifts two fingers to his mouth, then presses them to his chest.
Mine.
My little secret tucked into the letters of the nickname I gave him when I was fourteen. Now, it’s a promise. One I never have to question, no matter how far apart we are.
I don’t move until the doors have slid shut and swallowed him from view, but even then, I feel him everywhere. His presence lingers in the room, filling the empty space, like he never really left at all.
New York keeps moving, but inside these walls, the world is soft, steady, and ours. I wake up every day to the proof that it’s possible—healing, loving, living, surviving. I wake up and know that, no matter what else happens, I chose this. I chose him.
And every day, I get to choose it all over again.
