“You told me you haven’t been with anyone,” I whisper. “I was safe with?—”
“Don’t say his name in my bed,” Dillon growls out, expression darkening with rage. “I wasn’t with anyone else, and I trust you. It’s just…One of the reasons you left was because you didn’t trust me. I shouldn’t have—” He shakes his head. “I was so lost in you, I didn’t think. I should have checked with you first before I took you like that.”
I half sit, grabbing his arms and drawing him closer. Dillon carelessly throws the cloth onto the ground, lying half on top of me, his weight a comforting blanket that crushes me into the bed.
“I was lost in it too,” I admit. “It’s okay, Dillon. It was on both of us. I know you would never hurt me like that.”
He presses his forehead to mine. “I just don’t want to do anything that might risk you, Charlie. I feel like I’m trying to hold onto the wind to keep you.” He sighs heavily, tucking his arms around me so that when he rolls, he’s pulling me onto his chest. “Sometimes, I would lie in this bed, wondering if I was imagining just how good you felt. Fuck, Angel…” He grips me tighter. “There’s no one like you.”
I rest my head on his shoulder, tracing a finger over his pec. “I’m still protected. You don’t need to worry about that.”
There’s an intense pause before, in a low voice, he admits, “That doesn’t bother me.” I go still, but he keeps talking. “I know it’s not the right time for us, but the idea ofyou being pregnant one day…” His hand drifts down over my stomach, trailing over the skin. “We talked about it…before everything went to hell. I want you to know that nothing’s changed for me. If you want to give me that, I’d be the luckiest man in the world.” He sucks in a breath through his teeth. “We would be better parents than ours were.”
I don’t answer, tucking my head in tighter against his shoulder, hiding my burning eyes. He doesn’t seem to need an answer, his warm hand slowly dragging a path over my side and down to my hip.
“I know that this ride hasn’t been easy, and I know it’s on me,” he says, the deep rumble of his voice drifting over my skin. “I know that this—today—doesn’t set anything in stone. I still have a lot to make up for, but I’m all in, Angel.”
“I’m worried,” I murmur softly, and his hand pauses its movement for a second before carrying on, his fingertips pressing lightly into me.
Dillon turns his head to the side, whispering into my hair, “I know, baby. And that’s on me. I was always supposed to make you feel safe, and I didn’t. I want you to know I’m going to keep fighting. For you, for us. Also…for myself. I know that I can’t get complacent, and I won’t.” He shifts, moving down the bed until we’re lying on our sides, facing each other, our noses almost brushing. “I love you, Charlie.”
Six months ago, I would never have dreamed I’d end up back here. Not with how much I had been hurt. But I wasn’t lying when I said the distance gave me perspective.
I inhale deeply, my lungs expanding with the full breath. My chin quivers, my vision going watery. I don’t look away from his steady gaze. He doesn’t expect anything from me right now, even if there’s a question there he won’tgive life to. But he doesn’t need to, because I know this is where I want to be.
“I love you, too.”
Dillon smiles, his eyes brightening, and I can’t stop my wobbly smile. “Maybe…” His voice is hesitant, and his gaze drops from mine.
“What is it?” I prod.
He clears his throat. “I was thinking that maybe you could come with me. To a therapy session sometime.” My mouth falls open in surprise, and his lip curls up. “Didn’t expect that, hm?”
“No,” I agree. “Actually…maybe that’s not a bad idea. Maybe I could go by myself sometime as well. Deal with some of the baggage my mother’s given me.”
He strokes a hand over my head. “I think that could be really good for you, Charlie.” A firm leg hooks over mine, the hairs brushing against my skin. He slides an arm under me, wrapping me so tightly in his arms that I don’t know where he ends and I begin. I bury my face against his throat, his familiar scent surrounding me, and I sigh, relaxing against him.
“Hope you didn’t think you were going anywhere,” Dillon says. “I just got you back, and I don’t want to let you go any time soon.”
I press a soft kiss to his neck. “Good thing I don’t plan on moving, then.”
Chapter 25
Dillon
Istep inside without knocking, my nose immediately twitching…Same as it always does when I come over. Charlie squeezes her fingers around mine as I tug her over the threshold, shaking my head when she sneezes.
“Lavender,” I grouse. “I hate lavender.”
She rolls her eyes at me, but the effect is ruined when she wipes her wrist over her nose.
It’s been three weeks since the day she impulsively came over, and I’ve thrown up my thanks for every second that’s ticked by since. I never intended for Charlie to find out about my confrontation with her mother—I didn’t want her to be indebted to me for doing something that any good person should’ve done. For doing something I should’ve done a long time ago—with her motherandwith Bliss and the others.
We’re not where we were, and we probably won’t ever be. That’s not such a bad thing. We’re more aware of each other now, about the damage we’re carrying around on our shoulders.
Two weeks ago, Charlie went to see a therapist that Sandra recommended to her. She’s been twice now, and those days are hard. I wait out in the reception, watching as she walks out, dragging her heels like shadows are clinging to her and weighing her down.
It’s not an easy fix, tryingto mend years of hurt, but Charlie doesn’t hide it from me, letting me see into the darkness so I can help guide her out. And if I have bad days, she does the same for me.
