It’s a bit pathetic, really.
“You don’t have to,” Alec starts, seeing me waver.
“No! No. You’re right. I’m doing it. Give me a sec.” I delete my social media apps, open my email, and tap out an Out of Office message.
Thanks for emailing! I’m currently on a break, so please contact my manager for urgent inquiries. Sorry for the inconvenience!
I can feel Alec’s warm breath on the back of my neck as I spell-check it, and suddenly feel self-conscious. I hate writing in front of other people. “Um.” I show it to him. “Is this okay?”
He reaches forwards and deletes the apologyat the end of the message. “Don’t apologise. You’re doing nothing wrong.”
I set the automation and delete my email app. As it vanishes from my home screen, I feel like a noise that’s been running in the back of my head for the last few years suddenly shuts off. My brain feels emptier.
I flop back against Alec’s chest, hearing the birds tweeting outside. “I have no idea what to do now,” I admit. I need to update Lulu. Thatwill be a fun conversation. And then…nothing. I’ll have nothing to do.
Alec kisses the top of my head. “Well, we’re going to be shearing all day today.”
I nod. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep myself busy.” Maybe I’ll go down to the town or something. See if Isla is free for me to do her makeup.
“I was actually going to ask if you wanted to help.”
I twist to look at him. “Wait, really? I can help?”
“Aye, we need all hands on deck when we’re shearing.” He runs a big palm over my bare leg. “Fair warning. It can be very dirty work.”
“I’ll get dirty,” I say, ignoring Fraser’s snort. “I want to help.” Anything would be better than moping around uselessly.
Alec nods. “Finish your breakfast then. We start in thirty minutes.”
FORTY-TWO
SUMMER
After we’re done with breakfast, the guys all head outside to set up, and I go to my room to call Lulu. She is, as expected, absolutely horrified.
“No. No. This is a terrible idea. Give me some time, I promise I can turn this story around, I’m already working on it?—”
“I need to go dark,” I say firmly. “My mum’s job is being affected.”
“Who cares about your mum? I hate her. And YOUR career is going to be affected if you stop posting. This could hurt you, Summer.”
I fiddle with my nails. “You only hate her because she said your shoes were impractical at my birthday dinner.”
“No, see, I actually hate her because she’s a massive judgemental bi?—”
I cut her off. “Lulu. Her job is so important. Way more important than mine. I can’t mess with it.” I flop down on my bed. “I think I need the break anyway,” I admit. “I’m tired of it all. And now that the Icons Only collab has fallen through, it’s not like I need to push for five million followers.”
She sighs. “Yeah. I saw that. I’ll talk to them?—”
“It’s fine, Lu. Really. It was a pipe dream. I just need a break.”
There’s a long pause. “Okay,”she says. “Okay.” I can practically hear her brain whirring as she mentally switches gears. “So you’re staying longer? I miss you. All my other clients are boring. None of them call me to help fix horrific nail glue incidents, or talk my ear off about out-of-production Chanel lip shades. I hope you’re doing okay up there.”
I glance out of the window. The sun is out, and Lochview’s rolling paddocks look almost impossibly green. Below, I can see the men in a nearby field. Cameron is building a pen from fences, and Fraser is hauling an upturned sheep to his feet. Alec is holding court over it all, arms crossed as he scans the animals milling about. His sleeves are rolled up, and I try not to ogle his tanned forearms like a horny spy. “I am doing good, actually,” I say honestly. “Lulu, you would notbelievewhat happened last night?—”
There’s a beep in the background. “Ugh, hold that thought, I need to take this call. It’s an influencer I’m looping in to save your image. I’ll call you later, yeah?”
“Um, I mean, I’ll probably be off my phone?—”
