She buries her face into my neck. I keep stroking her, drawing little circles over her sweet spot as she gasps and gasps and gasps, her chest heaving as she twists in my arms. “Aye, aye, I know. I know, baby. It’s a lot. You’re doing such a good job. Easy now.”
“Oh,” she says suddenly, her body jerking around me. “Oh, ohGod—” I feel her clenching against my fingers.
“Gonna come?” I ask in her ear. “Easy, now. I got you. Let go.”
She shakes her head. “I can’t…” she manages. “It’s too cold.” I hum, keeping my pace on her steady. She wriggles desperately. “Fraser,please, I can’t— I need—” Her breath is hiccupping in her chest, her wet breasts crushing against me as she tries to find her release.
“Breathe,” I repeat. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”
She struggles with it for a moment, writhing over my hand. Then, finally, she cries out, and it echoes into the clear morning air. A flock of startled doves scatter from a nearby tree as she thrashes against me. I hold her close, greedily drinking in the sight of her slick body shaking in my arms.
When she finally stops trembling, I pull her into a tight hug. “That wake you up?” I grin.
“O-oh my God,” she chokes out. “I just came in a loch.”
I stroke wet strands of hair off her pink cheeks. “Aye, well. I do like to show visitors the wonders of Scotland.” I heft her closer. “C’mon. Better get you warmed up.”
I carry her back to the bank, wrap her in one million towels, and ply her with coffee. When we’ve both stopped shivering, we lie back in the moss together. I play with her damp hair as she snuggles against my chest.
“Feel better?” I check.
She looks up at me. Her eyes are bright, and her face is pink. She’s lost that dull, sad look she had this morning. “Much. Thank you for bringing me here.”
“It’s a special place,” I say, looking out over the still water. “Probably saved my life, to be honest with you.”
“What?”
I take another sip of coffee. I want to tell her this, but I’m not quite sure how. “My sister, Rosie, was…real sick all throughout school. It’s why I spent so much time on the farm as a kid. Mum was so busy taking her to all of her appointments.”
Summer’s eyes widen. “Oh. Is Rosie?—”
“Alive and well and living in Edinburgh with her wife. They started a charity that saves hedgehogs.”
She relaxes. “Not all heroes wear capes.”
“No. Some wear dungarees with pockets full of hedgehogs,” I agree. “I used to work on the farm with Cameron and Alec. I wanted to keep doing it after graduation, but then Rosie had this big recurrence right before I did my A-levels…” I frown at the memory. “I knew my mum wanted me to be the first person in the family to study outwith the Highlands, so I applied to the University of London to make her happy. She had to have one kid she didn’t need to worry about, you know?”
Summer nods, like she gets it.
I watch birds flitter overhead. “It was bad,” I say. “I hated the course, hated the city, hated everything about my life. I’m not made to sit behind a desk. After a while, I got real depressed.”
Her eyebrows rise. I know she’s surprised. No one expects it from me. I try to be the happy-go-lucky guy who smooths everything over. And most of the time, it comes naturally.
Just…every so often, the sun goes down.
I cough. “Anyway. Started drinking way too much. One night, I finished a whole bottle of vodka and wound up in hospital. When I woke up, Alec was there. Apparently, he was still my emergency contact. He’d dropped everything. Came all the way down to the city. The doctor was chewing me out for being irresponsible, but Alec wasn’t mad.” I pluck at the grass. “He told me to come back to Lochview with him.”
I still remember him standing over my bed. I felt the shittiest I ever had in my life, and he’d just smiled at me.
Come home. Lochview needs a shepherd.
“So I did. When I first came back, I was useless. Alec put me in the paddocks with the sheep and let me sit there with them climbing all over me. Or he’d bring me to the loch. I sat right here for hours every day. Hours and hours.”
God knows Alec didn’t have the time to take care of me. Not with his dad running the place like a damn drill sergeant. But he did it anyway.
Summer makes a soft noise. When I look at her, her eyes are shimmering dangerously.
“Oh, baby,no. I wasn’t trying to make you cry. I just…” I fumble for the right words. “I’m trying to say…that I’m worried about you. Something’s wrong. You’re sobbing at parties and breaking down on the floor of the guest room. Don’t be embarrassed. It’s not yourfault, I’m just saying it’s not right. You can try to twist yourself in knots to please other people. Youcan ignore your heart and your body telling you something is wrong. But you can’t do it forever. Eventually, you’ll fall apart. I don’t want that to happen to you.” I cup the soft curve of her cheek. “I’m not telling you to quit influencing. But maybe you could take a holiday? Stay here until the end of the month, turn your phone off, and get your head on straight.” I give her a hopeful smile. “Alec’s down to extend your stay. And Lochview is a great place to heal.”
