I genuinely cannot deal with influencers. This is so out of touch.
You know, I used to like her. But having the nerve to say she’s overwhelmed when her job is so easy has really put me off.
BRING BACK PUBLIC EXECUTION
Oh God. They’re right. The apology was terrible.I’mterrible.
“Summer,” Alec repeats, sounding annoyed.
“Um. I’m not hungry,” I tell him, backing up. Suddenly, the lights feel too bright, and my skirt is too tight. It feels like some massive pressure is rising up inside me, trying to burst out.
“And can you please try and clean your things up?” Alec asks stiffly, gesturing at my blouse still crumpled on the floor. “It’s distracting.”
“Right. Sorry.” I grab it, still backing away. I can’t breathe.
Alec pauses, his face changing. “Summer?”
“I’m sorry,” I mumble and run down the corridor back to the guest room. My eyes are burning, and I scrub them furiously.
I willnotcry. God, this is so silly. I need to be tougher than this. I keep scrolling through the comments. There’s the odd nice one, but they’re overwhelmingly negative.
Shallow. Entitled. Oversensitive. Pathetic. Out of touch.
People hate me. Theyhateme. I squeeze my eyes shut, blocking out the light of the room. I can hear the buzz of a mower outside the open window, and it’s so overwhelming I can’t think. I jam my hands over my ears. I want to smack something until it breaks. I want to shatter a bone. I want to hide in a dark hole and disappear. I feel like I’m bursting at the seams.
In the back of my mind, I can hear my old therapist’s calm voice.
Emotional flooding is a common symptom of ADHD overwhelm.
It’s not your fault. It’s how you’re wired.
You need to learn to deescalate strong emotions.
She’d tell me to do breathing exercises. To look around the room and name five red objects. The idea is so pathetic it feels laughable. Doing a breathing exercise right now would be like trying to cork up the sea.
Peoplehate me.I can’t survive this.
There’s a knock at the door. “Summer,” Alec calls through the wood. I jump like I’ve heard a gunshot. My phone clatters to the floor.
“I’m fine,” I croak, dropping to my knees to pick it up. It would probably be more convincing if I didn’t sound like a dying toad. My breath hitches, and I can’t help the sob that rises out of me.
There’s a pause, then Alec says, “I’m opening the door.”
TWENTY-EIGHT
SUMMER
Itry to respond, try to tell him not to, but all that comes out is another sob. Then another. I cover my face as the door pushes open.
There’s a long pause. “God.”
I desperately try to stop crying, but I justcan’t.It feels like everything I’ve been pushing down the last couple of weeks is clawing itself out of me. I can barely see as Alec kneels down next to me.
“What is it?” he says urgently, grabbing my chin. “Are you hurt? Did you hurt yourself?”
Great, he thinks I’m having a literal medical emergency. I try to talk, but my breath just hiccups. I shake my head.
“No?” His hand cups the back of my head, tucking my face lightly into the front of his jumper. I feel him fumble for his radio. “Fraser. Cameron. Get to the guest roomnow,” he barks. The radio fizzes with static as he drops it to the ground. “What is it, Summer?” I try to push him off me. “Tell me,” he orders, his voice ringing with authority. I swear my mouth opens without meaning to.
