She kicks me in the stomach. Around me, the other sheep rustle quietly in their hay, already half asleep.
Just cull it, my father’s voice commands in my ear.No point wasting time on faulty livestock.
You’re far too precious with the animals, boy.
They’re not pets. They’re assets. You put them down when they stop being useful.
The lamb shivers, looking up at me with huge dark eyes. A black feeling ripples through me.
I am nothing like my father. I’ll feed this lamb if it takes me all night.
“I know you want it from your mum, sweetheart,” I coax. “But she can’t feed you right now. It’s got to be the bottle.” Across the pen, Viola cuddles with her two baby boys. The lamb in my arms stares at them andbaas again. The sound is almost sad.
I swallow a sigh. It’s been…a difficult day.
I didn’t sleep all night. I never can when it’s storming. My brain keeps me alert. In case something happens.
Which meant I was wide awake to hear Fraser and Summer through the walls. The memory of Summer’s sighs and gasps makes me ache.
I grit my teeth. I don’t want Summer here. When she’s not setting off fire alarms and ordering trucks of adult toys to the farm, she’s flirting with both of my best friends.
My mind goes back to the conversation I overheard this morning. Summer kissed them both. I couldn’t believe it. Fraser, I understand, butCameron?
She’s distracting them. Making them fight over her. Leading them on. I don’t want her here, trailing around the farm in her wee skirts, all soft lips and shining hair and?—
I scrub my eyes. I amsotired. “Please,” I beg the lamb in my arms. “Please, please, justdrink.”
The lamb shivers and turns away from the bottle, and my shoulders slump. I hear the barn door open behind me, and a bright voice starts talking.
“I just feel like, if I do two skincare routines back-to-back, what am I even saying, Lulu? Pores equal death?”
I look up. Summer is wandering inside the barn, talking on the phone. She’s wearing a short skirt which flaps around her thighs, and a jumper I know is Fraser’s. My chest feels odd.
“If you think it’ll do well, I guess…” she says, biting her bottom lip. “I just…I can’t wait for this all to blow over. Honestly, it makes me feel like—” Another pause. “Oh, sorry, of course,have a great evening. Love you loads!” She hangs up and stares at the phone, her smile fading.
For a few seconds, I get to see what Summer looks like when she’s not animated and sparkling for someone. Her eyes go blank. She looks like she’s just switched off.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
She screams, almost dropping her phone. “Alec! I’m sorry. I just wanted to say hi to the lambs before I went to bed. I can go?—”
She starts backing up out of the barn. Why is she so nervous? She’s not like that around Fraser and Cameron.
I wonder if I scare her. I suppose I did kidnap her last night. Shame burns through me. I overreacted completely. It was a minor storm at worst. Summer would have been fine in the cabin. I always get edgy when bad weather rolls in, but it’s been years since I lost my head like that.
The first year after the accident, Cameron and Fraser used to have to stay in my room with me whenever a storm hit. If they were out of my sight, I’d worry they’d gone outside and go into the rain searching for them.
Summer’s looking at me like she’s expecting to be told off. I force myself to soften my voice. “You can stay. I’m just finishing with the bottle babies.”
“Yes?” She comes closer, peering at the lamb in my arms. “Do you need help?”
“Help?” How could she possibly help me?
She nods. “Crumpet likes me. I might be able to make her drink.”
“Crumpet?”
“Yep, I figured, since she didn’t have a name yet, someone should give her one.”
