He closes his eyes. When he reopens them, they’re shimmering. “I can’t believe—” He swallows thickly. “I never thought I’d have a family. I always thought Lochview was it for me. I thought…” He clears his throat. “Thank you. I’ll be better than my father. I promise.”
I snuggle into him. “You’ll be an amazing dad,” I tell him. I know he will.
Alec has changed a lot in the last six years. He’s no longer the same man that stayed up until dawn every day, triple-checking locks and blaming himself for everything. Therapy helped him a lot. After the Lochview social media accounts blew up, I helped connect him with some sustainable fashion brands that pay an exorbitant amount for authentic Scottish wool. He expanded the farm, and with that, he’s learned to delegate. Lochview now has a seasonal team of farmhands that work the land and take care of the animals. Alec also runs apprenticeships with local teenagers who want to get into agriculture, and the village school does regular trips to Lochview to learn how farms work. If you ask anyone in Dalbrae, they’ll say he’s the best employer for miles around. He’s kind and fair. He takes care of his workers, just like he takes care of me. And he’ll take care of this baby too.
Alec takes a shuddering breath in and presses his forehead to mine. “Thank you,” he says again. “You’ve changed…everything.”
I bask in his embrace for a few moments and then look around. “Where’s Cameron?”
Fraser wipes his eyes. “Ah, down by the sea, I think. Reckon his leg must be hurting him, he’s barely said a word all day.”
Alec nods, but his face stays clear. Years ago, any mention of Cameron’s leg would have filled him with guilt, but things are much easier between him and Cameron now. I squeeze his hand. “I’m going to tell him.”
Alec reluctantly lets me go. “Ah. I’m going to— Can I book you in with a local doctor to get checked out?”
“Yep!”
“I’m going to eat an entire pack of shortbread to emotionally process,” Fraser decides. As I head down the paved path towards the shore, I hear him crow, “We’re going to be dads, Alec!”A muffled crash follows. I think Alec just got tackled.
I smile to myself. Tufts of tall grass tug at my pyjamas as I pick my way across the smooth rocks towards the water. When the beach comes into view, I immediately spot Cameron. He’s sitting hunched on a boulder, looking out over the sea.
And he’s having a panic attack.
At least, I’m pretty sure that’s what it is. His face is in his hands, and his chest is rising and falling rapidly like he can’t get enough air in.
“Cameron.” I hurry over to him.
He flinches as I approach, dropping his hands. “Did you take the test,” he rasps. His shirt is clinging to him with sweat.
I ignore him. “Are you okay? What happened?”
“Did you take the test?” he repeats, rubbing his throat.
“So, I’m not sure you’re in the right emotional space to hear this information?—”
“Summer,”he says urgently. I let him tug me onto his lap.
“Yes, yes. It’s positive.” I pull the stick out of my pocket and show him. He looks at it blankly but makes no move to touch it. “Are you okay? Is something wrong? It’s not…” I trail off as an old fear rises up inside me. One which used to feel as natural as breathing, but which has worn away over the last few years.I gulp in a breath. “You’ve not…changed your mind about me, have you? Because, um, it may be a bit too late?—”
Cameron groans, letting his head fall onto my chest. “No,” he mutters. “No. No. No. I’m messing this up.” I can feel his hands shaking where he’s holding me.
“No,” I say. “I love when I announce my pregnancy and you have to breathe into a paper bag.” I stroke the back of his neck as his breath shivers. “Seriously,” I say. “What’s wrong? Is it your leg?”
He shakes his head again. I hear crunching footsteps behind me and turn to see Fraser and Alec pushing through the grasses.
“Ah,” Alec says. “I was worried this might happen.”
“He’s broken,” I say a bit desperately.
“It’s nothing to do with the baby,” Alec assures me. “He’s just worried about something.”
“What? Has something happened?” I feel sick. “Please tell me,” I beg Cameron.
“Oh, just tell her,” Fraser says. “You’re freaking her out, mate.”
Cameron shakes his head. “I wanted to make it special,” he mutters. “Cook dinner?—”
“Aye, well, you’re too shaky to hold a pan, so that’s not going to happen, is it? Go on.”
