But I don’t feel like falling apart. I wait for the wash of pain to hit me, and it doesn’t come. Instead, I feel…
Alive. Relaxed. Like I’ve taken off a too-tight jumper I didn’t even realise I’d outgrown. Energy is humming through me. I look out the window. It’s raining, but the sun is cracking through the clouds like gold. The towering hills of the Highlands look almost impossibly green, DayGlo-bright against the pale wash of the sky.
Alec says it’s because the storm season has finally passed. Now that the weather is brightening up, spring can come in earnest. All of the rain that the hills have soaked up is going to send everything into bloom. It’s a new beginning. A fresh start.
“I think…I have an idea for something,” I say slowly. “I’m gonna work a bit. See you all later?” I give them all a quick hug, run to the front door, and grab my coat.
EIGHTY-FOUR
SUMMER
When I get back to the studio, Crumpet is sitting on the doorstep. I scoop her under one arm and carry her inside my little pink safe space. I’m buzzing with energy as I take in my racks of clothes.
They reallycouldbe made into collections with a bit of tweaking. I start rearranging them, grouping them together. As I do, I call Lulu.
“I want to do it,” I say without preamble when she picks up.
“Start your own label?”
“Yes.” I’m determined. “There’s so much I need to get sorted. I need to meet with manufacturers. Everything will have to be ethically sourced, and I need to find a good accountant. I don’t think my current one would be right for this, would he? He focuses on sole traders, and I need— Oh shit, I’ll need to register with Companies House. What should I do for packaging? I’d really want something biodegradable, and I guess it’ll be more expensive, and I’ll have to get it customised so it won’t be ugly— Ooh, I need a logo?—”
Lulu snorts. “God, I love when your brain explodes on me. It’s been ages since you did this. Hang on. Get out of bed, please, babe.”
I hear a rough groan down the line and pause. “Lulu…are you with someone?”
“Yes? I told you, Andrew, he of the bin-lid hands.”
I check the clock. She should have just gotten to the resort a few minutes ago. “How did you even have time to do that? Did you just immediately toss him into bed?”
“How doyoudo it? Andrew, I need to work now, so…do up your trousers and go, okay? I’ll see you later.”There’s a muffled man’s voice. “You have hands, don’t you?” Lulu says dispassionately. “Giant ones, last I checked. I’m sure you can figure it out.” There’s more talking, and then a door slams.“Christ, men can get so whiny, can’t they? Do you have to put up with that three times over? You’re a saint.”
I’m horrified. “Lulu, I didn’t mean to interrupt?—”
“Are you kidding? This is way more interesting. You’re starting a fashion line! Okay, I’m at a laptop. Explode your brain on me, babe, and I will turn all of your random thoughts into a colour-coded business plan.”
I flop down in my desk chair and pull out my sketchbook.
Time blurs as we talk. The sun dips in the sky. Eventually, hours later, we’re wrapping up most of the preliminary stuff. Lulu is making a list of contacts I can use, and I’m doodling logo ideas in my sketchbook.
“I need a name,” I realise.
“Summer the Label? House of Faye? Or—here’s an idea—procrastinate about it and pick a name five minutes before you have to hand in the paperwork.”
“That is my favourite method of doing anything,” I agree. My pencil swirls across the page mindlessly. I draw a bow. A heart. I add some lace and pull a face, writing a note next to it.Too Much?
I blink at the words. I’ve heard them all of my life. From my mum. From my tutors at uni. I flip a page and rewrite them in the dead centre, this time in swooping calligraphy.
Too Much?
I draw a little lipstick kiss underneath it and smile.
That’s cheeky. I like it.
“I think I have it,” I tell Lulu.
Suddenly, Crumpet bleats. I can hear voices outside the studio. It sounds like they’re arguing.
I pick out Alec’s deep tones. “She’s working,” he says. “I didn’t build her this spot so you could just disturb her.”
