“Nah. It’s in there. Wear something that looks like you’re being swallowed alive by a marshmallow, that’ll perk it back up.” She sighs. “Listen.I’msorry. I don’t think I’ve been the best friend to you. Or the best manager.”
I blink. “What? Why would you say that?”
“I was too focused on making you as successful as possible. I knew you were overwhelmed, but I just assumed you’d want to push through it for long-term gain. But maybe that wasn’t what was best for you? Maybe you’d have been happier, like,not stifling your whole personality and style, even if it meant not growing your platform as fast. I don’t think I gave you as many options as I should have. I know I’ve pressured you into doing some stuff you weren’t sure about.”
“Lulu, I wanted five million followers. I wanted the Icons Only collaboration. I was willing to burn myself out to get it. You never made me do anything.”
“Not physically,” she agrees, “but I am incredibly hot and intimidating, so it is hard to say no to me. I should have checked in on you more, and I’m sorry. I…”I can practically hear her shudder. “God, you know I hate being gooey. I really missed you while you were up in Scotland. And I want you to know, I care far more about you as a friend than as a client. Whatever you wanna do next, I’ll support you. Even if youarein a farm cult, which I haven’t actually ruled out yet. ’Kay?”
My eyes are burning. “Lulu!”
“No,” she says immediately. “Stop it. I canhearthe tears in your eyes. Pull yourself together and tell me about your Scottish boyfriends.”
“They’re not my boyfriends…” I start. As if on cue, Fraser appears at my side holding a cashmere blanket. I watch the folds of his kilt spread over his thighs as he bundles me up in it.
“Thought you looked cold,” he murmurs in my ear. “Didn’t mean to disturb you. Carry on.”
I just stare at his bare legs, slightly hypnotised. They could make a sculptor cry.
Lulu pauses. “Hello? Is that one of them now? God, you’re not, like, getting secretly fingered while we talk, are you? Girl.”
“I’m getting tenderly wrapped in a blanket, actually.”
Lulu makes a retching noise. “God, that issomuch worse. Okay, I’m going. I have some more influencers I need to DM. Night.”
“Night,” I say, feeling a warm glow inside as I lay down my phone. Fraser smiles at me fondly.
“You done?” he asks, and I nod. “I’ll set up the guest bedroom for you. You must be tired.” Even though he’s smiling, he looks sad. I know why. A week ago, I’d be sleeping curled up in his bed.
He helps me up. “You did good today, sweetheart. Thanks for working so hard for us. We’re so lucky to have you.”
I stretch, feeling slightly awkward. “May as well use my power for good, right?”
“Aye, that’s what I’ve been saying about my legs, to be fair.” I smile, looking out the window. My eyes catch on something in the darkness. There’s a figure hunched on the farmhouse’s stone step.
“Is…is that Alec?” I haven’t seen him since we finished with the photos. I assumed he was checking on the animals.
“What?” Fraser turns to look. “Oh, aye. He’s just sitting in the dark like an emo. He does that sometimes.”
“Is he upset?”
“Very,” he says frankly. “Can’t say I care much. Not after what he did to you.”
“I’m going to speak to him,” I decide, wrapping the blanket tighter around myself. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
SEVENTY-EIGHT
SUMMER
When I step outside, the cold night air bites my cheeks. Alec is sitting on the step, looking out over the fields. He has his phone in his hands.
“Hey.” I sit next to him, and the cold of the stone immediately leaches through my skirt.
He doesn’t answer, just turns his phone over and over between his fingers. I wait, listening to the distant sound of sheepbaaing across the hills.
“They’re talking about you,” he says eventually. His voice is rough with anger.
“People online?”
