No. She’s gone. Just up and left with no warning. And I thought I was coming home to her.
“Well?” Fraser asks, and my head snaps back up. He’s standing over Alec, practically vibrating with fury. “Talk!”
“It was for the best,” Alec says flatly.
“What do you mean, for the best?” Fraser explodes. “How could you tell her to leave? And without askingus,you absolute bellend!” He wipes a hand over his face. “Look, I know your head was probably a mess, what with the storm and the barn and everything, but this is beyond the pale. Get up. We need to fix this.” Fraser starts stabbing at his phone, then swears as a dial tone sounds. “She’s not answering. We need to go after her. Set this straight.”
“We don’t have her address,” I point out. There’s no point. It’s too late.
“So we trawl every designer store in London,” Fraser growls.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Alec says, putting the letter back into the envelope. “I’m not going to ask her to come back. She’s safer in London. Keeping her here is just selfishness.” He picks up his phone. “I need to make some calls?—”
Fraser’s mouth falls open. “Selfishness?” he roars. “It’swhat she wanted, you eejit.” His words ring around the lounge. “Christ, I knew you had a martyr complex, but I didn’t thinkyou’d go so far as to send away the one girl who actually made this place feelgoodagain.”
Alec stands suddenly, anger pouring off him. “She could have died last night!” he shouts, and Fraser balks. I feel sick. “She came out to help me, and she almost got killed. A loose beam almost hit her. It wasso close. And I—” He tugs a hand through his hair, suddenly breathing hard. “I can’t do it again. I can’t have what happened to Cameron happen again. I can’t. I can’t do it. I had to get her away from me. She’s only safe if she’s away from me.”
I stare at him. “What do you mean,” I say slowly. “‘What happened to Cameron’?” He doesn’t answer. “Alec,” I snap. “Did you send Summer away because of my leg?”
He gives my cane a tragic look. “For God’s sake, look at what Ididto you.”
Whatever sympathy I had left for him dies.
I knew this was coming. I’ve given Alec years to get over this. It’s clearly not going to happen.
Which means I can’t be here anymore.
I grab my cane and head to the door.
“Where are you going?” Alec rasps behind me, but I don’t answer. I just pull on my coat.
“Cameron,” he says. “We have to try and spread the news about this consultation. If we split up, maybe we can get enough attention to fight this?—”
Fraser heaves a sigh. “He’s quitting,” he tells Alec. “Because you treat him like shit.”
“What?” Alec says. “Cameron. Wait?—”
As I open the front door something nudges my calf. I look down. The lamb is standing at my feet. Shebaas at me plaintively, wanting to be pet.
I don’t. She doesn’t want me. She wants Summer. And that’s not going to happen.
I turn to look at both of my best friends. Probably the only two people I’ve ever really loved. Fraser looks resigned. Alec is pale, his exhausted eyes wide behind his glasses.
“Go fuck yourself,” I tell him and slam the door behind me. As I limp back up the path and away from Lochview, the thought dawns on me.
I’m pretty sure I loved Summer too.
SIXTY-EIGHT
SUMMER
It’s dark by the time I make it back to my flat. I shove my massive suitcase inside and flop against the door. After weeks in the countryside, the Uber back through smoggy London was overwhelmingly full of honking traffic. I just want to curl up in my bed, cover my ears, and cry forever.
But no. I won’t cry. Not anymore.
I scan my flat. The marble countertops gleam in the low light, and the air is sharp with the scent of lemony cleaning fluid. My heart aches.
No. Stop it. Don’t be sad. Keep moving.
