“You’ve never believed me, Eric. Well, this time, my lord, I am afraid that I do not believe you! Don’t touch me.”
“Amanda—”
“I mean it, Eric!”
He went still, his eyes narrowing. “Am I to be punished then, dear wife? Denied your charms and my rights?”
“My lord Cameron, I’m well aware that your life was far from empty before I entered into it—”
“Regretfully entered into it.”
“You had an affair with Geneva!”
He seemed slightly surprised, but shrugged, and she felt ill and jealous and couldn’t help but imagine that he was lying. He and Sir Thomas had been partners, and he and Anne Marie…
“Amanda, I can hardly be blamed—”
“You had a wicked reputation, Eric!” she reminded him.
He laughed softly. “Amanda, my God, we are talking about years ago—”
“I don’t believe you!”
“Well, I will be damned! Amanda, come here!”
“No! I don’t want you touching me tonight!” she vowed heatedly.
She heard the grate of his teeth and then he smiled very slowly. “Ah, yes, I am supposed to take care because your cousin and your—because Damien and Jacques sleep outside the doorway. Well, Amanda, don’t fool yourself. If I wanted—if I chose, Amanda!—I would seize upon you here and now, and that would be that, and I would not give a damn if the whole of the camp was aware of it.”
He took two long steps toward her. A scream nearly tore from her as his hands landed firmly upon her and she was lifted up and tossed upon the narrow bunk. “Oh, you bastard!” she hissed to him.
But he backed away from her then and bowed deeply. “You may have the bed. And you shall have things, milady, just as you wish them. You needn’t sleep on the floor. I shall find another place to lay my head!”
With that he slammed out of the room. Amanda watched him, then she turned over and cried softly into the pillow. There would never be a good time for them, she thought. Never more than brief moments when passion drew them together. She could not even grasp at the straws anymore.…
She had come here. And she was alone.
Walking out in the cold snow, Eric quickly determined that he had been a fool. When he thought that Damien had sown the seeds of discontent and suspicion so thoroughly over such a rather sad incident, he felt fury fill him. And when she had pulled away from him, as if his touch made her shudder like something that crept and crawled upon the earth, he had known that he had to walk away. Walk away, when he had thought of nothing but lying down beside her, with her naked flesh beneath him.…
He groaned aloud and paused in the night, patting the nose of the packhorse that had drawn the cart from Cameron Hall. The horses had been unharnessed, but the crates still remained unpacked. He looked over the wagon and smiled. They were desperate at Valley Forge. They spent the days and nights drilling—and foraging for food. There were so many men to feed. They deserted daily. He did not blame them. He didn’t know how many times he had wanted to leave the bitter cold of Pennsylvania and ride back to the Tidewater where winter was ever so much milder. Where his home and children awaited him. Where a well-crafted fire and decent food could be had. Home, to Amanda, to a chance at their marriage.
And now she was here, and like an ass, he had walked away from her. His fingers wound into fists. Damn her! He had spent bitter-cold, lonely nights alone again and again. She had been in his dreams forever and ever, and now…
Now he was too proud to go back. “Damn her!” he whispered. And then he sobered. She thought that he had been cold. That he hadn’t wanted her, that he had, perhaps, been having an affair with Anne Marie.
She didn’t understand. There were many men who still did not trust her. Rumor from Virginia had reached the whole of the army, and Nigel Sterling’s daughter was still known as a Tory—whether she had truly changed her coat or not.
And that he did not know if he could believe himself.
He grated his teeth hard and swore out loud, his breath creating a mist upon the night. He wasn’t going back. Not until she asked him.
Or not until his slender hold upon sanity did break, and he swept her heedlessly into his arms.
A week later Amanda was working in the huge sickbay, bringing water to the countless men down with smallpox. It was terrifying just to see the men stretched out before her—there were so many men ill, thousands of them.
She wiped her brow, offered a Connecticut rifleman an encouraging smile, and moved on to the next bed. Hands suddenly slipped about her waist and a whisper touched her ear. “Well, cousin, he is not sleeping with the illustrious Anne Marie. Her father came home from his foraging expedition the same night that you arrived, and I know Sir Thomas Mabry very well. Nothing illicit is taking place in that hut!”
Amanda swung around in dismay. “Damien, I did not ask you—”
