But Lissa doesn’t answer. Because at that moment she gets an internal message from Liam, asking to see her in his office. She doesn’t have it in her to feel nervous. She just gets to her feet a little numbly, tells Darcy she’ll be back.
Liam waves her inside when she knocks, then braces his fingers on his desk as she takes a seat opposite him. ‘So, Lissa. How are you getting on?’
She stares at him, no idea where he’s going with this. ‘I’m good. Thanks.’
‘Good, good. And how are you finding things?’
She raises her eyebrows. ‘Things?’
‘Your work. Your accounts. Do you feel you’re on top of it all?’
‘Yes,’ she says slowly. ‘Why – has someone complained?’
‘No, no,’ he says quickly. ‘Nothing like that. It’s only, after what happened last summer, and then you’ve been off sick quite a lot recently … I wanted to make sure things are as they should be, especially if you’re going through a tricky time with your … health.’ His gaze flicks briefly away from her face at that, towards his desktop screen, like it’s not polite to look at her. ‘As with any team player in the office, we have to be sure that no one person is underperforming. Do you see what I mean?’
‘No,’ she says bluntly. ‘Do you mean Ihavebeen underperforming?’
‘Well, no,’ he says, pulling at his collar. ‘But we have to consider the possibility that if something were to happen again, it’s the whole company that would—’
‘Liam,’ she interrupts. ‘You can stop now.’ Because she finally thinks she knows what he’s getting at. She’s not sure if she wants to laugh or scream at him. Mostly, she realises, she doesn’t care. Oh, she cares about theprincipleof it, but she doesn’t care what he thinks of her. ‘I get it,’ she says with a sigh. ‘You don’t want anyone letting the side down.’
He heaves a relieved sigh. ‘Exactly. I’m glad we could—’
She holds up a finger to stop him. He stares at it, almost comically shocked. ‘But I am pulling my weight, aren’t I? Or at least as much as most people here.’ She lets out a laugh that sounds incredibly bitter. ‘You’re making out like you’re doing this for me, to make sureI’mokay, that I feel supported, that you tick all the bloody HR boxes. But really, you’re assuming that because I had a panic attack at work, once, because I show signs of having issues with my mental health, and because I’ve had some sick leave recently, Imightunderperform – that’s it, isn’t it? You don’t want somebody with mental health problems on your team in case it leads to fewer accounts, or more work for you, or whatever the hell it is you care about.’
‘Now, Lissa, I think that’s a little—’
‘I’ve worked at this company for years.Years,’ she repeats, getting to her feet. She’s not really sure what she’s planning on doing, but suddenly she finds she doesn’t want to sit there opposite him and his stupid beard. ‘And do you know what, Liam, I might not be some marketing genius, but the job isn’t exactly hard, and the clients like me, and I’ve never drastically fucked up. But you don’t care about any of that, do you? All you see when you look at me now is that one panic attack. You didn’t even ask why I’ve been off sick – you just assumed.’
‘We missed budget this tax year,’ he says bluntly. ‘We can’t have it happen again. We need everyone to be a—’
‘Oh for God’s sake.’ She throws her hands into the air. ‘Then fire Gary, who watches Netflix at his desk for, I kid you not, at least half of the working day. Or Emily, who expenses all her lunches regardless of whether she’s working. But no, instead you decide to go for me, on the off chance that I might lose it again, is that right?’ She takes a breath, her heart beating faster, a surge of adrenaline firing through her as she realises what she’s about to do.
She takes a step towards the desk so she’s looking down at him. ‘Well, you don’t have to fire me. Because I quit.’ She turns on her heel at that, walks straight out the glass door.
‘You’ll have to write a letter of—’ But she lets it slam shut behind her, blocking the sound of his voice.
She strides through the office as quickly as she can, head down, slightly concerned he might come after her. She looks up only as she passes Darcy’s desk, jerking her head in a way that Darcy immediately understands.
She’s shaking as she presses the button for the lift, Darcy appearing at her side just as the doors open.
‘What happened?’ Darcy hisses as they step inside. ‘Are you okay?’
Lissa grabs her forearm, feeling the need to emphasise her next words. ‘Darcy, I quit.’
Darcy’s face immediately breaks into a grin. ‘Thank fuck for that.’
Lissa laughs, slightly hysterically. Then she shakes her head. ‘Shit, Darcy, what am I going todo?’
‘Anything!’ Darcy hugs her as they reach the ground floor, then pulls her out of the lift. ‘I’m so proud of you.’
‘For quitting my job? Interesting sentiment.’ Lissa glances at the ceiling above her, bites her lip. ‘I’m not actually sure I can just storm out like this.’
‘What are they going to do, fire you?’
‘Good point.’ She runs her gaze over Darcy’s face. ‘What about you?’
‘In general or …’
