Lissa hesitates, then decides what the hell – in for a penny, right? ‘I think it might be about the past lives. The ones I told you about last time. I think there might be a pattern to all of them – a similar thing happening again and again. Could that be it?’
‘It could,’ Saskia says, and Lissa reckons that’s about as much agreement as she’s going to get.
‘So does this mean I need to do something different inthislife?’ Or is it too late – is it that she needs to do something in the next life, to save Chloe?
‘Maybe. Let’s see if the cards can help, shall we? We now look to something in the past that might still be influencing you now.’ Saskia points to the card the furthest to the left. A heart being pierced by three swords. ‘The Three of Swords. This is usually grief or trauma.’ She pauses, then asks, ‘I think you mentioned a sister who died?’
Lissa’s throat bobs as she swallows. ‘Yes. And yes, that does still influence me.’
Saskia nods slowly. ‘Well, maybe it’s about coming to terms with something to do with her death. It might be that it’s only by doing so that you’re able to break the pattern.’
Lissa nods, but she’s frowning. There’s only so much coming to terms with it she can do – she’s accepted it, hasn’t she? She isn’t still lost to grief like her mum. And how would that help across multiple lifetimes? It does add credence to her theory that it might all be about Chloe, though.
‘Looking ahead now,’ Saskia says, ‘to a possible future. And I emphasisepossiblehere, because the future is never set in stone.’ Lissa wonders if she emphasises that so strongly because of how bleak the next card looks. The Ten of Swords. The man lying face-down in the grass, alone, swords sticking out of his back.
‘Is it a death?’ Lissa can’t help asking.
‘Not necessarily,’ Saskia says slowly.Necessarily.Well, that’s a brilliant comfort. ‘But it’s definitely the end of something.’
‘My job?’ That would be a good thing, right?
Saskia’s eyebrows pull together. ‘Maybe. But I think it’s more linked to this pattern you’re in.’ She indicates the Devil, and under him, the trapped woman.
‘So I break free of it? End the pattern?’
‘Perhaps,’ Saskia says.
It’s not very definite is it, this whole tarot thing? Or maybe Saskia just doesn’t want to tell her the truth, because could this be another death, another ofherdeaths? Could it mean that this life is going to end, only to repeat the pattern all over again? Because she hasn’t learnt what she needs to learn?
‘I think it’s a warning,’ Saskia says, after what feels like several minutes. ‘As with all tarot cards, things aren’t wholly black or white. There is hope on the horizon – a new dawn after the end of something. But I don’t think that new dawn will come unless you make different choices to the ones you always make.’
‘Butwhatchoices do I always make?’
A sympathetic smile. ‘Only you can answer that.’
Lissa frowns, staring at the cards, trying to think of what they might mean – and realising distantly that she is getting caught up in all of this. She doesn’t know what choices she always makes, though. Choosing to stay in Bath? Well, she can’t do anything about that, can she? And that’s more one continuous choice, rather than multiple ones. Leaving Chloe alone – leaving her sister alone in previous lifetimes? But then she would need another chance to put that right. She grimaces as she looks back at the Ten of Swords. Does she need to die in order to fix it?
‘Now,’ Saskia picks up, ‘we look to things that are influencing you now. The Page of Wands here I’d assume is a reference to your sister again – something about her death that still affects you.’
Lissa can’t help thinking of her mum, whispering bitter words.You’re the reason she’s gone.
‘But there’s also the High Priestess.’ The card Saskia points at depicts a grand-looking woman dressed all in white. ‘She is often related to mysticism, and represents something you aren’t consciously aware of yet. There are things being hidden from you, but soon you will be able to peer beyond the veil, so to speak.’
At this, Lissa’s heart beats a little faster. Does this mean she’ll learn why this is happening to her? Does it mean she’ll figure out what she needs to do next?
‘In terms of where you go from here, the Six of Swords would indicate that there are more positive times ahead.’ This card is someone being rowed in a boat by a figure with a black hood – why do they all have to be so bloody ominous? ‘This is a move towards more peaceful times. If, that is,’ and here a note of caution creeps into Saskia’s voice, ‘you heed the cards. If you come to terms with the things that are affecting you, and if, perhaps, you uncover the secrets that have previously been hidden from you.’
Right, thinks Lissa. Brilliant. No big deal – simply figure out what the memories are trying to tell her and she’ll be just dandy. But that’s a good thing, right? Because if it’s something in her future she can change, it’s not about fixing something that has already gone wrong.
‘Now, this is a nice card.’ It’s the first time Saskia has said that, and Lissa wonders if that’s relief she’s hearing. She points to the Knight of Cups – a man on a grey horse. ‘To me, this would suggest that there is a person about to enter your life, someone who will bring energy and change.’
Ash. She knows Saskia is talking about Ash. The energy she feels whenever she’s around him.
‘Could this person already be in my life?’ she asks, as casually as she can.
Saskia purses her lips, painted the same pale pink as last time. ‘Yes. Perhaps. If they are, then I’d say there is going to be a change in the type of relationship you have.’
Nerves crawl around Lissa’s stomach. ‘A good change or a bad change?’ She thinks of the message she got from him just now – the one waiting for an answer. She thinks of the kiss, and the way she shut things down.
