‘So where are you off to?’ Ally asks out of politeness.
‘Oh, we’re going to see one of my best friends, Mia, and her wife, Lottie. They live in New York and it’s our turn to go to them. We always get together at this time of year.’ Aaron squeezes Darcy’s hand, and the two of them exchange a look. It’s not much, but Ally recognises that look. So, they lost someone too.
‘What about you?’ Darcy asks.
‘I’m actually starting a new job in Massachusetts.’ A combination of nerves and excitement pulses through her gut as she says it.
‘Areyou? Well congratulations. You know, they say that when a shoe impales your foot before you start a new job, you’re bound to be promoted within the year.’
Ally snorts again. ‘Do they actually say that, though?’
Darcy shrugs. ‘Probably. Makes more sense than the bird-shit thing, doesn’t it?’
Aaron gives a cough that sounds like ‘debatable’, and Ally laughs. She likes them, she decides.
‘So what’s the job?’ Darcy asks.
‘I’m working as a kind of … counsellor at this kids’ camp.’Counsellorfor want of a better word, because she’s not qualified. Yet.
‘Like a holiday camp?’ Darcy asks.
‘Sort of. It’s for kids who have experienced grief of some kind. The camp does all these activities, and there are sessions aimed at dealing with bereavement. We give the parents advice if they want it, but it’s also a chance for the parents to have a break and … What?’ Because Darcy is looking at her a little strangely.
‘Nothing,’ Darcy says again, smoothing out her expression. ‘Sorry. It’s just … you’re giving me déjà vu. So. Massachusetts.’ They pass one of the restaurants on the upper floor of the airport, head towards the escalators.
‘They do them all over the place,’ Ally says. ‘I applied to loads and this one said yes.’ And it feels good, to be moving somewhere completely different. She wants to be away from everything that has defined her for all these years, and she is finally being brave enough to do exactly that.
‘Any particular reason you applied for the job?’ It’s asked with just atouchtoo much innocence – something Darcy’s husband seems to clock too, from the look he gives her.
She could just say no. But her sister is on her mind today – and this friendly couple have lost someone too. ‘My sister died when I was little,’ she says as they get on the escalator – and by now she’s perfected the art of not quite looking at people as she says this, adopting the right tone so as not to make them too uncomfortable. ‘It was an accident, but I …’ She shakes her head, smiles brightly. ‘Anyway. You don’t need my life story.’ But it’s why she wants this job – why she’s so nervous. Because she knows what it’s like to be a child unable to process grief, unable to turn to the adults around you because they can’t deal with theirs ether. Blaming yourself for what happened.
Abruptly, at the bottom of the escalator, Darcy turns to her and takes both her hands. It happens so suddenly that Ally doesn’t have time to move out of the way to avoid it, and behind them, someone gives a loud, disapproving tut as they have to navigate around them.
‘Can I ask you some questions?’ Darcy says, gaze scarily intense.
‘Er … I guess?’ Ally tries to gently extract her hands, but Darcy holds firm. She glances around for the nearest security guard – the woman doesn’t exactly seem dangerous, but you never know.
‘They’re going to seem a bit random,’ Darcy caveats.
‘Okay …’
‘Are you afraid of water?’
Ally starts, and her hands still. ‘I actually used to be.’ She frowns. ‘Well, I still am, I suppose. I’ve been working on it.’ And the dreams that have never made sense, where she wakes with her lungs burning, choking on water that was never there, have lessened.
Darcy nods like that proves a point. ‘Do you believe in past lives?’
‘Ah …’ Okay, we’re back to crazy. ‘I guess I’ve never really thought about it.’
Darcy purses her lips. Ally can see Aaron looking at his wife curiously, but he doesn’t intervene. ‘Okay,’ Darcy says. ‘One more thing.’ She takes a breath. ‘Is there anyone on the scene at the moment – romantically, I mean?’
‘Umm … no?’ She doesn’t mean it as a question, she just thinks it’s a bit of an invasion of privacy. Shewasin a relationship, but she broke it off recently, figuring out, with the help of her therapist, that she needed to sort her own shit out before she could commit to someone else. And then the job came along. The last person to ask her out was approximately two hours ago – and she walked away from him.
‘Okay. Good.’ Darcy lets go of her hands, only to cup her face. Seriously – has this woman been drinking or something? A nervous flier? ‘You make sure you choose yourself, okay? Fix whatever needs to be fixed, come to terms with whatever you need to come to terms with. Do all that first, okay?’
Ally frowns at her – at this very strange advice – and Darcy drops her hands.
‘Darce, I think you’re scaring her,’ Aaron says, laying a hand on his wife’s arm. ‘Come to think of it, you’re scaring me too.’
