“Pete tell you to ask me that?”
“Yes. Tell me.”
His chest shudders as he plows his fingers through his hair again, almost ripping it out. “I’m going to fucking kill him.”
I raise my voice. “Tell me, Roman.”
I have to.
To make him answer. To make my own heart stop beating so loudly.
He hates it. Having to answer me.
But he does even though there’s violence in every word of his. “The sweater you gave me, all right?”
“The sweater.”
“Yes,” he pushes out. “I keep the sweater you gave me, wrapped up in a bag, in the trunk of my car.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s the only place I know it will be safe. The only way I know it will be with me wherever I go.”
My sweater.
The one I made for him because I loved him. Because I knew that he was always cold and I wanted him to have something warm and cozy when I wasn’t there to wrap him into my arms.
He keeps that sweater, my love letter to him, safe in his Mustang. Again, something he never told me and probably never would’ve if I hadn’t pushed him.
He keeps the thing I made for him with love, in the only thing he says he loves.
But I know that’s not true.
I know he loves his sister. He loves Pete despite what he says. I know he loves Halo.
And now I know he loves me.
He loves me.
Reed is in love with me. He’s been in love with me for a long time now.
And you know what? He loved me two years ago too.
What I felt back then was real. He loved me.
That’s why he did everything.
He protected my virginity. He got those charges reduced at his expense. And I know that he broke my heart that day but he loved me even then. He did it because he thought he had no choice. He did it because of his father.
And more than anything, I know when he broke my heart, he broke his heart too.
Like his heart is breaking right now.
And God, I thought… I thought if I ever found out that Reed was in love with me too, then I’d be the happiest girl in the world. I’d be the luckiest girl.
Because the guy I fell in love with when I was almost sixteen loves me back. I’m not sure if he realizes that he loves me but he does love me back.
Reed Roman Jackson.
