Because for the love of God, I can’t.
I cannot see our baby.
And I tell her that and laughing, she points it out for me. The little dot that’s supposed to be her. She also tells me that the due date is in July.
My stomach flutters and I know it’s not her but still. I’m assuming that it is and I’ll keep assuming until she does move inside of me.
But anyway, Reed sees her right away and I’m not going to lie, I hate him a little bit for that. That he could see her while I couldn’t.
Although my ire melts away when he asks Christina to make four copies of it.
Of her.
And he does it while his fingers flex against mine.
Soon though, I have to let go of them, his fingers, because it’s over. And Christina tells us that the doctor is waiting for us in her office.
Dr. May is a friendly woman in her fifties maybe who asks me all kinds of questions. She takes my complete family medical history and prescribes me prenatal vitamins. She hands me pamphlets that I can read and get myself informed about the upcoming changes in my body and tells me to call the office any time I feel the need to.
Then it’s Reed’s turn.
To ask questions.
And he has a lot of them. The very first one is what the fuck can we do about my morning sickness. And why the fuck won’t it go away? And what the fuck we can do to give me a break from it?
All his exact words, not mine.
The doctor is patient, however. She says that we can’t do much about it. Every woman’s body is different and it sucks but I’m going to have to ride through it. And usually it clears up by the second trimester. However, if I really can’t bear it, she can prescribe me some mild anti-emetics.
Honestly though, these things take a natural course and she doesn’t think there’s any cause for worry at this point. So I refuse the anti-emetics — despite Reed being all upset over it — and thank the doctor for all the help.
And then Reed drives me home.
My new home that I’ll be living in for the foreseeable future.
It’s not my old house where I wanted to live with Conrad.
This is another thing I put my foot down about.
Living separately, living on my own.
Because after everything that happened and what Conrad told me about him taking care of us while growing up, I wasn’t going to burden him more. He’s already taken care of me and my brothers, he deserves a break now. Especially now that he’s got a new job. He doesn’t deserve a pregnant sister living in his house.
So I told them I’d live in an apartment close to school and once I’m out of St. Mary’s and have a job, I’ll pay them back for everything.
But Reed refused.
He already had a plan for that too.
So I’m going to live in this house.
It’s a house made of all glass, or mostly glass with tall windows taking up all the wall space, and it sits on top of a cliff in the town of Wuthering Garden.
It’s the same house that Reed brought me to that night. When he found me on the street outside of the Blue Madonna. His vacation home, oravacation home that’s his for now.
I haven’t been able to really crack who it belongs to other than the fact that it belongs to a friend of his and is located close enough to the clinic and my school.
It’s gorgeous though.
