It doesn’t mean anything, right?
My stomach churns and roars and I can feel him running his eyes frantically over the area. I can feel him looking for me, hunting for me, and it’s getting harder and harder to stop this chaos in my stomach.
Oh God.
Please, Reed. Please, please, please.
I’m not sure what I’m pleading for. Am I pleading for him to leave or to find me or to tell me that whatever I’m thinking, whatever I’ve discovered about my body is false?
Maybe I want him to tell me that it’s not right.
That it can’t be.
There needs to be some other explanation. That it can’t be what my body has been trying to tell me for the past few days.
But he doesn’t do any of that.
He doesn’t find me and tell me that it’s all going to be okay, no.
He leaves.
Just as he’d come, out of the blue, almost jogging up to the fence, he walks away from it. I hear him leave. I hear his footsteps thumping and retreating.
Until I can’t hear them anymore.
Until I open my eyes and fall down to my knees.
Then I throw up on the ground, my heart rebelling over letting him go and my body rebelling over what we did three weeks ago.
Chapter Thirteen
He’s the first thing I see as soon as I enter Ballad of the Bards.
I’m not shocked to see him though.
It’s Friday and he knows where I go on Fridays.
Even though I haven’t been here in three weeks, ever since that night. And I would’ve skipped tonight as well but I’ve already worried my friends a lot and I couldn’t skip without telling them something, everything, I don’t know.
But I can’t.
I can’t tell them anything. Not yet.
Not until I figure things out myself. So when they asked, I said yes and I did it with a huge smile on my face to make it look convincing.
But anyway, he knows where to go to find me.
The shock comes from the fact that hewantsto find me in the first place. That he wanted to find me last night as well when I hid from him.
When I figured out that…
That I am. I know I am.
My body has been trying to tell me this for days now and I’ve ignored it. I can’t ignore it now.
So I know.
I’ve known it for about twenty-four hours now.
