“What’s this one called?”
I lower my hand and automatically reply, as if I’m still in a fog, “Train Wreck Princess.”
It’s blue with subtle notes of green and is overall lighter than Heartbreak Juju, which I wore the night of the bar.
“Why, because you’re a princess?”
“I’m —”
“But you’re not, are you?”
You’re a fairy…
His long-ago words flutter through my mind and probably in his mind too. Because his wolf eyes glint. They sparkle and so does his vampire skin.
And for a second, the studio vanishes, the polished hardwood floors, the barre, the mirrored wall, and all of that gets replaced by those woods.
The woods that we used to go to.
That lonely dark place where I used to dance for him.
Where I danced for him for the first time and he called me a fairy. Where…
“You’re a fairy,” he finishes his earlier spoken statement, his eyes grave and his lips tipping up.
I believed him.
Back then, I believed that I was a fairy.
Not anymore though.
Even though the wings at my back flutter and rustle against my spine as if coming alive now that he’s here. “No, I’m not.”
“You’re fucking up your développé écarté devant,” he says. “Isn’t that what it is?”
I watch him a beat. “Yes.”
“And you’re supposed to hold it? For eight counts.”
I remain speechless, motionless. He remembers.
He keeps going though. “And if you can’t hold a position in ballet, it’s supposed to be a big fucking crime.”
How does he remember everything like I do?
When I always thought that all this time he’s been living his glamorous life in New York, I probably never even crossed his mind.
He straightens up and moves away from the wall.
Keeping his eyes on me, he starts to walk. Toward me.
And when he does that, again all I can do is stand in my spot, all frozen and immobile. Like I used to two years ago, whenever he decided to prowl toward me.
I used to stand glued to my spot, my traitor legs refusing to move.
My traitor heart refusing to slow down, and I’m about to stop him. I’m about to tell him to not come anywhere close to me.
Because I don’t know what’s happening.
