Back to my own town, Bardstown.
My heart always flutters when we cross that line, from St. Mary’s to Bardstown, the town I grew up in and the town I adore.
The town in which I fell in love for the first time.
The town in which I fell from grace.
When the bus pulls in at my stop, I thank the driver and get off.
So far things have been okay, slightly risky but nothing illegal.
This next part that I have to do is sort of a felony.
I mean, it’s not as bad as say, stealing someone’s car and drowning it in the lake — which I have a little experience in — but it’s still pretty bad.
Because as I said, I have no other choice, do I?
I pull out a pin from my hair and jam it into the lock on the door, twisting it in a precise motion. When the door clicks open — which I knew it would, I enter.
Into the Blue Madonna, my old ballet studio.
The place where I spent years and years training to be a ballerina.
Until they kicked me out.
Honestly though,kicked outis a harsh term.
They didn’t kick me out, per se. They gave me a choice to leave and I took it.
By they I mean my teacher, Miss Petrova, who once upon a time was super proud of me and my talent.
She looked very sad when she said, “Parents are worried, Callie. They think you’d be a bad influence on their kids. I’m really sorry. You’re one of my star students but girls are pulling out because they don’t feel safe around you and I don’t know what to do. I’m at a loss here.”
So I told her that I’d leave.
See? She gave me a choice and I took it.
I left.
Because the girls — some of whom I’d danced with for years – and the parents didn’t feel safe around me. Because of what I did.
Because of what my broken heart made me do two years ago.
I don’t want to dwell on what I did and what happened after and how I came to be at St. Mary’s instead of being sent to juvie.
The time will come for me to remember.
But for now, I’m here to dance and I will.
I’m here to fulfill my dream, the only dream I’ve had since I was five years old. Of going to Juilliard and dancing for the New York City Ballet Company one day.
When I left the Blue Madonna, my dream of Juilliard was sort of hanging in the balance. Miss Petrova’s a Juilliard alumna and she was going to give me a great recommendation letter when the time came. And getting in there is so difficult and competitive that I needed that letter.
But after everything, I didn’t think she’d give that to me and so I stopped thinking about it. I’d stopped expecting to end up at Juilliard. In fact, I’d started to look into other dance programs, like the one they have here at Bardstown Community College.
But then over the last summer, something changed.
Something sprung back to life.
