Mac
We’ll get him, Wes.
If it helps, I know exactly how this feels and can confirm it fucking sucks.
Dimitri
You will feel better when we kill him.
Dimitri’s unusual contribution has my lips quirking up, despite all the frustration and rage. He doesn’t normally suffer any off-topic discussions, and talk offeelingshas been known to make him leave our group chat altogether.
Smiling and shaking my head, I drop a pin at the hotel for Mac so he knows where to leave the van for me.
I glance down at Madison as she flops over onto her other side. The cover has slipped down over her shoulder, and I itch to right it for her. But I know it wouldn’t be just an act of care. If I let myself cross this divide, I’d also let myself trail my fingers down, following the curve of her neck, sweeping her hair out of the way to reveal that soft tan skin…
Exhaling noisily through my nose, I flick through my apps until I get to my email. I check for a note from the General, but the last I have from him is the automated confirmation of my bid for Madison’s job.
I tap over to a private browser and type in the exact URL I need. It’s the only way to access anything on the dark web; that’s what differentiates it from the regular internet. You don’t need a specific browser or anything, but there’s no Google. Nothing is searchable. You need to already know where you want to go.
The website throws my login credentials back at me, stating the account doesn’t exist. I scowl and type them out again, slower. It doesn’t work. One more time to confirm…
My stomach plummets. I’m locked out of the General’s system. He must have removed me.Fuck.Fuck!
“Wesley?”
Shaken from my swirling panic by her soft voice, I look down. “Yes, my love?” My tone is tight, and it takes every ounce of my willpower not to let her see my agitation.
She rolls over and faces me. “You were right.”
“I usually am. You’ll need to be a bit more specific.”
Her smile is sleepy but amused. Closing her eyes, she nestles down further on the white cotton, dark hair coiled in inky, wet tendrils against the bright white. “I should have loaded my gun.”
“Yes,” I agree softly. An unloaded gun is the least of my concerns, but I’ll be pleased if the outcome of this is that she’s never armed with something useless like that again.
“Thank you,” she whispers, shifting back and spearing me with a look that’s so full of emotions it would knock me on my arse if I weren’t already there. “It was dumb to leave my apartment, like you said. But you were there when I needed you. I had no right to hope you would come, but I did. And you did.”
My heart jerks in my chest. She had every right to hope I would come, and it cracks something deep inside me that she thinks she doesn’t. I set my phone on the bedside table and scoot down until we’re face to face. I’m on top of the covers and she’s underneath, so hopefully that’ll be enough to help me keep my hands to myself.
Still, I can’t resist reaching up and brushing the hair from her eyes. “I will always come, Madison. I told you—you’re mine. Do you understand what that means to me?”
Her eyes flick back and forth between mine instead of answering. There’s some confusion there, as well as something guarded that I can’t identify. After a second, she shakes her head.
“It means that I take care of you. I protect you. I don’t let anyone hurt you.”
Her brow twitches, settling into a slight frown. She swallows, nods, and looks away, but she seems confused—perhaps only content to let the conversation drop because she’s not sure she’s ready for it.
And it’s just as well, because I’m not sure I’m ready either. I can’t put this feeling into words yet; it feels too soon to say the words out loud.
Because I’ve never wanted anything the way I want her. I’ve never needed something to be mine this way. It’s like she’s awakened another side of me—one that considers lines something to cross and rules something to break. I’d do anything for her.
I’ve joked about Mac’s stalking and Dimitri’s kidnapping from the view atop my high horse, but now I know that I’m no better. My single-minded determination would have resorted to much darker means if she’d managed to slip away from me this morning—stalking and kidnapping would have seemed the milder option.
I’ve already been less than honest; I let her think we’d be working together, knowing full well she thinks that means something very different.
I simply can’t let her be involved in my search for the General. I need the information she has—now that we know what information it is, that part’s sorted—and then I just… I need her to be somewhere that I can keep her. Where I can take care of her and know she’s safe.
I wish I could be a normal man. I wish I could come to her as is, bare myself and let her take whatever parts of me she wants. But I can’t—this is all or nothing. No half-assing it.
