“Call me a silly old fool, but I had hoped to see you fall for the strapping Norseman who did such a splendid job of repairing the roof,” Osbert carried on, winking at her. “Why do you think I pretended not to be able to welcome him in my house that first night?”
The wretched man, plotting behind her back… But she could not be mad at him, not when he had welcomed the news so well. Her relief was so acute that she started sobbing. She had been so worried he would think she had forsaken his son and here he was, telling her he’d hoped to see her find love again. He’d even done what he could to bring her and Sven together. She felt humbled.
“Thank you. It means a lot to me. I didn’t want you to think?—”
“To think what?” Osbert interrupted sharply. “That you were wasting your life away? That you were too young to be on your own? That you deserved a chance at a family with a good man, like any other good woman? I did think all those things and I’m glad I won’t have to worry over you any longer.”
Eahlswith stared at him, dumbfounded. “You worried over me?” She would have thought it was the other way around.
“Of course I did! A woman with her life ahead of her cannot wallow in grief like you did. You’re allowed to live a happy life, my dear.” His voice wavered and his eyes clouded over once more. “And I know Edwin would agree with me.”
Fresh tears burned her eyes because he was right. Edwin had been nothing if not generous and selfless. He would have wanted her happiness.
“Thank you,” she murmured. “I think I needed to hear that.”
As she was wiping at her eyes, Sven leaned in to speak into her ear. “Tell him what you told me the other day in the forest. Free yourself of the guilt you are carrying. Osbert is a good man. I trust him. He will understand, he will forgive you. I can leave you two alone if you prefer.”
She grabbed his elbow before he could turn and disappear through the door. “No. Stay. Please.”
She needed him if she really was to do this. With him she might find the strength to say the terrible words. He was right, she was about to become a wife, and a mother. It was time she told the truth and gave the old man at least the possibility to forgive her. If he couldn’t find it in himself to do so then she would be no worse off. But if he did, with Sven’s help and love, then she might be able to let go of some of the terrible guilt.
“Osbert, I’m so sorry. There is something I’ve never told you.” She paused and swallowed hard. “That day, Edwin wason the road because of me. He wanted to go to my village to retrieve something precious for me, something I had told him about a few days earlier. I blame myself for his death. If I had not mentioned that carving, he would never have set off alone, he would never have been attacked.”
For a long moment the old man stayed silent, as if weighing up what he’d been told. “Edwin loved you more than life itself. I’m not surprised he would have wanted to please you thus.”
“No, but it cost him his life. I swear I never meant it to happen like that and I’m not sure I will ever be able to forgive myself. But perhaps you can help.” Another sob escaped her lips. “Before I start on the new part of my life, I need to know that?—”
“You don’t need my forgiveness because I never held you responsible. You arenotresponsible for what happened, do you hear? Before going Edwin told me where he was going and why. I encouraged him, thinking it a lovely gesture.” There was a long silence. “If you think you should carry the burden of his death then at least let me carry half of it. Or we could both put it down and try to live what is left of our lives as best as we can.”
He’d known? Eahlswith was stunned. All this time Osbert had known that his son had been killed because of something he’d wanted to do for her and he had not once blamed her. He had loved her like a father, worried about her, the woman responsible for his loss.
She fell into the old man’s arms, feeling both wretched and blessed. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I wish?—”
“I know. Me too. But let me repeat. You are not to blame for what happened, any more than I am for not dissuading him from going. Now, enough of this, my dear. I’m afraid old men cannot stand to see young women cry,” Osbert said gruffly, patting her on the shoulder before letting her go.
“Strapping Norsemen can’t either, if you must know,” Sven replied, drawing her back into his arms. She melted against him, feeling lighter than she had in years, since Edwin’s death.
Osbert chuckled. “I wouldn’t have thought the two of us would have anything in common.”
“No, but we do. We both want nothing more than Eahlswith’s happiness.”
“Your command of our language is remarkable, you know, for a Norseman.”
“I know. But it is no wonder, since I’ve been speaking it all my life. I was born here and my mother is a Saxon.”
“Is she now? But physically, you favor your father, I take it?”
Sven let out a sunny laugh. “So much so that I look exactly like he did at my age, or so I’m told.”
Eahlswith listened to the exchange, gratitude swelling in her chest. The two men were giving her time to compose herself and she was pleased to see them getting on so well. Osbert would of course be invited to the wedding next week. But there was still something she needed to tell him.
“There is more,” she said once she had herself under control. “I am expecting a child, to be born just after the summer.”
Osbert stilled. He would understand from the revelation that she and Sven had started their relationship weeks ago. “My dear. This time I don’t know what to say. Except that you will be a wonderful mother.”
Sven’s hold around her tightened. “She will. We’ll bring the babe to you as soon as we can.”
“I will hold you to that promise, young man.”
