“Compressed?” Blaze asked. He brushed his thumb across my knuckles soothingly, keeping me grounded. I was so grateful he’d come with me. He was already asking the questions I couldn’t think to ask.
She nodded. “I’m beginning to think you have compressed nerves in your brain,” she said, looking at me even though Blaze had been the one to ask the question. It didn’t feel like she was ignoring him, only that she was trying to make sure I understood what was happening in my body. “It’s normal with a traumatic brain injury. If Botox works, we can use that as our treatment plan. If your body takes well to the Botox, I might even be able to get you in for surgery to repair the nerves. It’s risky, but it would help you live a mostly pain-free life.”
“I don’t know how I feel about brain surgery,” I admitted. The mere thought had me breaking out in a cold sweat. If Botox worked, I might just stick with that. I wasn’t sure I wanted my skull cut open. The idea made me a little nauseous.
She nodded. “It’s your choice,” she said, smiling gently. “In the meantime, let me get an order over to the radiology department so we can get this MRI done. I should have the results in a couple of days, and my nurse will call you so you can get your next appointment scheduled as soon as possible. And I’m also going to refer you to an ophthalmologist for your double-vision.”
“Thank you,” I said quietly, meaning it.
She nodded. “You two can go wait in the waiting room, and once radiology is ready, someone will come get you.”
I nodded, and we stood. Blaze linked our fingers together like it was normal for us to do things like this. And when we sat down in the waiting room, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and tugged me down so my head rested on his shoulder. “How do you feel now that we have some kind of direction?”
“Better,” I admitted, not even having to think about my answer. And I did feel better. Didn’t feel so lost. Didn’t feel like I might not ever get some relief from the constant migraines and fucked up vision. There was a glimmer of hope, and I was latching onto it with both hands.
“Good,” Blaze murmured. Then, not caring who saw, he dropped a kiss to the top of my head and tightened his arm around me.
My heart tripped in my chest.
Blowing out a soft breath, I paid the seventy-five dollars, officially subscribing to the therapy app I kept getting ads for. But I’d promised Blaze I’d think about therapy. And I had. Now, I was taking the leap forward and actually doing it. Because while I knew Blaze would gladly be there for me and support me to the best of his ability, it wasn’t his responsibility to keep me out of the dark.
To be better, I had to want to be better. I had to want to better my mental health and work through all this. To come to love and respect this new version of myself. For now, I was doing it for Blaze, but I hoped sometime in the future, I would want to do it for myself, too.
I laid back on my bed, watching as the therapist began to type. I was fifteen minutes into the session when Blaze knocked on my door. “Come in,” I called, my eyes not leaving my screen.
“Hey,” he greeted, coming to sit beside me. My body rolled toward his some, and I peeled my eyes away from my phone to look up at him. He was freshly showered and wearing a pair of sweats. His shirt was missing, leaving his chiseled chest and washboard abs on display. I let my eyes linger, drinking him in now that I could look my fill without being worried about freaking him out.
“Like what you see?” he teased, a smirk tilting his lips. Fuck, he was so hot when he looked at me like that—like he wanted to strip naked and let me memorize every ridge of his hard body.
I snorted. “Would I be dating you if I didn’t?”
He chuckled. “You okay?”
I nodded and showed him my phone. He ran his eyes over the messages, and his eyes softened. “Baby…” he said softly, then swallowed thickly. Leaning over me, he kissed me soft and slow, and I groaned, opening my lips beneath his to allow him to deepen the kiss. Much to my dismay, he eventually pulled back and stood. “I’ll let you finish that. Come find me when you’re done.”
“Tease,” I muttered, reaching down to press the heel of my hand to my dick.
He just shot me a wink over his shoulder, then left my room, shutting the door quietly behind him. I sighed and rolled onto my back once more, my dick hard and aching. But still, I focused back on my phone, eager to now get this over with so I could go hunt down my boyfriend. And maybe, just fucking maybe, he’d solve the issue I had going on downstairs that he started with his half-naked body and sensual kiss.
We both might be brand new to this whole gay thing, but I had no issues studying. And studying, I had been. I was more than ready to begin exploring this in reality…
Exploring it with Blaze, at that.
Chapter 16
Blaze
I glanced away from the TV screen toward my cracked bedroom door when it began to slowly push inward. And then, there he was. Jaxon was still in his gym shorts and plain white tee, his glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. His dark hair was a mess on his head, and he was chewing nervously on his bottom lip.
“What is it, baby?” I asked, sitting up so I could lean my back against the headboard. I bet I already knew the answer though. I’d teased him earlier, and now, he wanted me to do something about it. But Jaxon, while bold, had always still been just a little more shy than I ever could hope to be. Even back in high school and during frat parties, I’d been his wingman, helping him get laid.
He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. I had to bite back my smirk. Fuck, he was cute when he was sexually frustrated and annoyed with me. “You know what,” he grumbled.
I crooked my finger at him. “Lose the shirt, and come here.”
He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing, before he gripped the hem of his shirt and slowly tugged it over his head, revealing his flat stomach, broad chest, and defined arms. When he dropped it to the floor, he slowly made his way to me. I leaned forward when he pressed his knees into the mattress and gripped his hips, yanking him forward so he straddled my hips and was seated on my lap.
And fuck, the way his eyes widened when he felt how hard I already was for him…
