The sound of Blaze entering the house reached my ears, and about thirty seconds later, he appeared in the living room. I could make out his damp hair through the golden glow from the lamp, which meant he’d not long ago showered, and he was in his normal after-practice attire of gray sweats which left little to the imagination, and a plain black hoodie. He’d left his shoes at the front door, and his feet were covered in plain white socks.
“We need to talk,” he said as a way of greeting, and my stomach clenched, my chest tightening. My heart slammed against my chest bone. Talk? Talk about what? Had I done something wrong? Was he unhappy about something? I searched my brain, trying to find any inclination as to why we needed to talk, but I couldn’t find any.
Fuck, I was going to be sick. I wasn’t in the right headspace for any kind of serious talk, and I could barely focus on him because my vision kept fucking making two of him.
“Now?” I asked, my voice low. “Not exactly a good time, Blaze.” And it wasn’t a lie. It really wasn’t. I was irritable, my head was beginning to hurt the longer I kept my eyes open, and I wasn’t ready for whatever he needed to talk about. With as serious as he looked and how hard he was frowning, I wasn’t sure it would be a good kind of discussion.
“No better time than now,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.
Sighing, I sat up, then swung my legs around so my feet were flat on the floor. Shutting my eyes, I leaned my head down, letting my brown hair fall over my face some. Bracing my elbows on my knees and letting my hands dangle, I muttered, “Well, talk.”
“Samuel recorded your conversation with him. I heard everything.”
Yep, I was going to fucking puke. And when I finished puking and after Blaze was done ending our friendship, I was going to beat Samuel until he was eating through a fucking feeding tube and needed Hunter to give him round-the-clock fucking care.
I lurched from the couch and hurried to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind me. I leaned over the toilet and promptly threw up my dinner. The door opened, but I couldn’t even try to keep Blaze out because I couldn’t stop retching. His hand landed on my back, and surprising the fuck out of me, he rubbed in slow, soothing circles, his other hand pushing my hair back so it was out of my way.
“Migraine?” he asked, sounding apologetic.
I shook my head, then lowered to my knees, exhausted and sore. “No,” I rasped. Blaze flushed the toilet for me, then grabbed some mouthwash, which I gladly swished, then spit back into the cup. He got rid of it for me. “Our friendship is over, isn’t it?”
“What?” Blaze asked incredulously, spinning back around to face me so fast, he damn near lost his footing and fell on his face. He caught himself on the wall, staring down at me like I was an alien, looking at me like I was the one who’d lost his mind. “Why the fuck would you think that?”
I lifted my hands, then dropped them back to my thighs. “Maybe because I’m in love with you and you’re straight?” His brows furrowed, like he wasn’t understanding. “I just made everything awkward, Blaze. It’s not like I can turn off my fucking feelings. You’re the only guy I’m attracted to. Doesn’t make sense to me, but it’s happened, and I can’t turn it the fuck off. So, our friendship ending is the only thing that makes sense.”
He blinked at me, then blinked again before slowly shaking his hand and shoving his hand through his damp, blonde hair. “You are one of the smartest people I know, but I’m seriously beginning to think you lack this thing called common sense,” Blaze retorted.
“Oh, fuck you,” I muttered, bristling.
He snorted, then lowered to his knees in front of me. I sucked in a sharp breath when he pushed my legs apart, then scooted forward on his knees so he was between my legs and in my space. He was so close, we were sharing the same breaths. I could smell his cologne—something woodsy and earthy—and his shampoo—some cheap Suave brand.
He gripped my chin, his fingers pressing into my cheeks, and he tilted my head back so our gazes were forced to lock. “I know you can’t turn off your feelings, dumbass. I know because I can’t turn off mine for you either.” My eyes widened. Was he… Was Blaze confessing what I thought he was? Did he feel the same way? “I’m not interested in other guys either, Jaxon. Just you. Doesn’t make sense to me either, but sometimes, feelings don’t have to be logical.”
“It’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” I grumbled.
Blaze cracked a grin. “Even if I didn’t return your feelings, Jaxon, do you really think I’d let you fucking go? Fuck no. Who the hell else would take care of you when you can barely take care of yourself, baby?”
Baby. Fuck. That little pet name had me feeling like my chest was going to cave in. Goosebumps erupted over my flesh. I liked it a lot more than I fucking should have.
“So… what do we do from here?” I asked.
Blaze shrugged. “What if we’re just… gay for each other?” he asked in all seriousness.
I frowned. “How the fuck does that even work?”
Blaze laughed softly and leaned in, slanting his lips over mine. And fuck, it was so easy to sink into him. To let him control the kiss, deepen it, slide his tongue into my mouth. He was an expert kisser, and when his hand wrapped around my throat and he pressed his thumb to my jaw to angle my head the way he wanted, I moaned, my dick hardening.
Nothing about it felt wrong. In fact, it felt so fucking right, I’d never been more certain of something in my life. Being gay for each other didn’t make a lick of fucking sense, but maybe it just didn’t goddamn have to. Maybe this was just what would work for us.
“This is how it works,” Blaze rasped, leaning back a little to look at me. “That answer enough for you?”
I nodded. “Yeah,” I croaked. Then, I slid my fingers into his hair and tugged him back to me, closing my eyes and fitting our lips together once more. One kiss wasn’t enough. Fuck, it would never be enough ever again.
Chapter 13
Blaze
I was riding on cloud fucking nine. Jaxon had admitted, even to my face, that he had feelings for me. That he was in love with me. And I’d made him mine last night, then fell asleep with him in my bed, and fuck, spooning him all night long had to be one of the best things I’d ever experienced.
