I stop my hand before I can reach for the necklace that’s not there, saying nothing. The weight of the last twenty-four hours—no, the last few weeks— curls heavy in my chest like a rock. Not grief, nothing so noble as that, but emptiness. The kind that comes when the overwhelm has taken residence for so long that its blessed absence leaves numbness. One I’d usually welcome.
“Guess Rune got the key, then?” she chatters like the silence would swallow her whole.
“I got the key.” It hurts to speak, my throat raw from crying. I shove the memory of drowning down, but it lingers at the edge. “We got lucky.” Without my panicked shift, we may have walked into the final trap and died riddled with arrows. And without Rune . . . well, it’s becoming clear these keys weren’t meant for land-dwellers to retrieve, at least not alone.
“Jortan and Maurice said they’d hardly made it two-hundred steps before their tunnel went under water. Neither are sirens or”—she gestures to a pendant at her neck—“have a breath stone, so when they couldn’t get past, they turned around. Tulin and Arinna said theirs split in three.”
My eyes catch on an unwelcome figure over her shoulder. Reid looks almost like he’s going to come over, but he spotsTavi moving our way and pulls his attention forwards instead, a muscle feathering in his jaw.
“And Tavi told me about the mudaliks already,” Soraya says as Tavi joins us. “She said you were incredible.”
I look to Tavi, who shrugs as she speaks. “I can see why the Vipers have the reputation they do. Especially if their fabled icon is even more talented with a blade than you are.”
It feels like a question, but I clench my jaw and let my eyes unfocus to a point somewhere past the slow-moving food line, too tired to let thoughts of Nisse and the guillotine of truth hanging over my head. They must get the hint, because Soraya presses the conversation forward. “Did you go in a tunnel, Tavi?”
She nods. “We were the last to turn around. The others didn’t come back. Besides Rune and Odi of course.”
Her attention cuts to me like a blade through saltwater, but the suspicion is gone, replaced by exhaustion, and maybe relief. “Rune and a trapped temple. It’s a story I wouldn’t mind hearing one day.”
“One day,” I say, still watching the slow-moving food line.
“Hey.” Her voice isn’t gentle, but has soft enough edges that I look at her at last. “Thanks for not letting him get himself killed down there.”
I shake my head, swallowing against the shards of pain in my throat. I hadn’t saved him. He’d saved me. Pushed me to live. For a moment, the memory of accepting that I would die claws into my mind, crushing me with the simple weight of my own insignificance. The phantom grip of the water ghosts through my lungs, and my traitorous eyes beginto burn.Soraya’s soft ‘oh’ as she slips a hand over mine has me holding my breath, jaw clenched. I won’t let anymore tears fall.
“And as for Reid,” Tavi says, dispelling the tension. “If he gives you any more trouble, let me know. He’s new, used to be a guard on the mainland. If he’s not a good fit, we can talk to Rune about dropping him.”
I clear my throat. “He’s an ass. Nothing I haven’t handled before. And I won’t be here—” I clear my throat again, the words sticking strangely. “When we’re done with the map, I won’t be a problem anymore.”
Soraya pouts at me, her eyes so round I nearly stand to leave.
“Still,” Tavi nods but goes on. “He’s already in danger of insubordination. It’s true he’s only voiced his anger so far, but I wonder if he’d allow himself that indulgence in front of the king. Rune allows it, but only out of self-flagellation. If you did decide to stay, I would ensure it was safe for you to do so.”
I turn to her fully, then, confused. Soraya’s eyes flick between the two of us as Tavi’s attention stays locked on me. I open my mouth to ask why exactly she’s interested in keeping me all of a the sudden, but out of nowhere, Soraya squeals loud enough I flinch and everyone in line turns to look at her. She leans into the middle of the table and cups one side of her mouth.
Did you guys kiss?she mouths.
“NO!” I shout, a thrill of nerves bringing new life to my exhausted body. I lean in too, dropping my voice low. “Why would you ask that?”
“OH MY GODS YOU DID!”
“No,” I spit. “He had to give me air. I was going to drown.”
I press my lips together as Soraya’s eyes twinkle like stars. She looks at Tavi like they’ve adopted a puppy.
“I’m going to see if I can get Otto to let us skip the line,” Tavi mumbles, gone from the table in a blink. I watch her go, then turn a suspicious look on Soraya. She plays with a spring of hair that’s pulled from her braid.
“She can scent it. Or sense it. It’s a fae thing.”
Right.
I stand to leave just as Otto rounds the corner with two steaming plates, Tavi on his heels with one of her own. My mouth waters just enough to sit down and endure the embarrassment of knowing they and who-knows-who-else on this ship knows—or thinks they know—what happened with Rune. Tavi is the only fae, but I hadn’t thought to ask if there were any land shifters like myself on board. If I’d spent any time at all in my deer form, it may have occurred to me that our scents may have mingled by this point.
Otto’s speaking before he makes it to us. “So, I have to admit I did experiment a little more with the mudalik flesh and I really believe there’s not a way you can cook it that it won’t kill you. Oh! Don’t look at me like that, trust me I’ve built up a tolerance to a lot of things but I didn’t swallow, just tasted it. There’s nothing that kills you that tastesgood, you know? I could be wrong but I figured no one would want to eat it anyways. It was sort of a thick mucilage texture—”
“Bear can we not talk about the snot frog, please, and thank you.” Soraya has gone a faint green. Her food is untouched.
“Oh yeah, uh. Sorry. Well, the ship bird wouldn't eat it either. Seemed like a good enough sign I shouldn’t feed it to the quail.”
