Did he really leave? Had he not enjoyed the kiss? Did something at dinner offend him? How did they just go from creating magic together to all of it being sucked from the room in seconds?
Tears sprang to her eyes as Adalia returned the strap of her gown to her shoulder. Holding back tears, she rose from the lounge. After retrieving her discarded bag and jacket that lay strewn on the floor, she headed for her bedroom.
Maybe he didn’t feel the same way she did? She must have read the signals wrong. But how could he have just left without saying anything?
Adalia changed into her nightgown, cleaned her teeth, and slid under the covers of her new blanket she purchased last week. The perfect blanket for her current situation. She drew the covers over her head, allowing it to hide her emotions and a new, sudden fear.
What if he didn’t come back?
Chapter Sixteen
The doubt
The cool evening air was fresh against Matthias’s skin as he flew. Where he was going, he had no idea. He just needed to distance himself from her.
Even in the sky, his mind was overwhelmed with thoughts—his chest thudding with pain.
Matthias knew the moment Adalia reached for him on the front doorstep, he wouldn’t be able to resist her.
The kiss though—world changing.
It had felt like someone shattered his soul and pieced it back together with veins of gold.
The first time he had kissed her, it had been out of want; the second time had been out of need.
If only he could have her.
But he wasn’t worthy of her love. He was everything she was taught to run from.
Chaos untamedin a body of darkness.
Wasn’t that what his father had always told him? That love would never find him—and if it did, he would destroy it; he wasn’t worthy of love and all that it offered.
How could he love someone when he himself was unlovable?
His father never showed him love and, as far as he knew, his mother never wanted him. If she did, she would be around, right? If both parents didn’t want their own child, then he must be the problem.
Matthias circled the skies of Lucius, trying to reason with himself. The pain tugged in his chest again and he winced. Was it punishment for wanting something that didn’t belong to him? But was the pain worth it if it meant he could hold her? How dare he think he deserved a happily ever after when he couldn’t even tell her the truth of what he knew?
Brown eyes, speckled with green. Soft lips.
Wings the colour of lavender blossoms that felt like silk upon his skin. The way the bridge of her nose sloped up ever so slightly at the tip. How her body fit so perfectly with his. The kindness that she showed towards others. The smile on her face every morning when he woke and saw her dancing in the kitchen as she made breakfast. How every mouthful of food she served him was better than the last. How every time she laughed, he wanted to write a song about it. Not to mention the way she carried herself with such confidence, yet everything about her remained humble.
There were a million reasons to want her.
She wasn’t his to have, though.
He shouldn’t be kissing her the way he did. He needed to end it now, before things got complicated. Or was it too late?
If the king got his hands on her again . . . he couldn’t even finish the thought. Matthias knew beyond doubt that being with her would be worth the risk tohis wellbeing, but never worth the risk to hers.
He banked to the left and steered back towards her house. What was he doing here? Running away from his father seemed like the only option at the time, but he couldn’t hide here forever. He wanted to be free of the man who only brought him pain.Could he face him, though? Would he have the courage to say ‘no more’? Would it bring him the peace he needed so he could be with the woman he left alone moments ago?
For the first time in his life, he felt he’d found something to hope in. A person who wanted him should he dare go after her.
Everything was in ruins now—the little spark that had ignited was smothered out the moment he left her on the lounge.
He was utterly torn between letting her go and keeping her safe from his father’s torturous hands, or fighting for her, even if it cost him.
