I shrugged, belatedly realizing he couldn’t see me. “I never thought I’d get married. I was married to my job.”
“Again, your circumstances have changed.”
I laughed. “If you’re worried I’m gonna try to drag a marriage proposal out of you, you have nothing to worry about.”
He chuckled.
Silence hung heavy in the room.
“You loved her,” I said. Not a question.
He was silent, then let out a soft, “Yes.”
I let that sink in.
“What other reasons ended the relationship?” I finally asked.
“Who says there’s another reason? Seems to me those two are reason enough.”
Something in his voice told me there was more, but I didn’t want to admit that. “I just know. What was it?”
He took in a breath before he said, “I’d already cut Jed loose, and I was playin’ a dangerous game. While I wanted nothin’ more than to keep seein’ her, I knew she was in danger.” He paused. “And then she made a decision that made the decision for me. So I cut her loose.”
His words ended on a bitter note.
I was glad I wasn’t facing him so he wouldn’t see my shock. I’d presumed this woman had been in his distant past, when he was young—not as recently as three or four years ago.
“So, not an amicable breakup?”
His shoulders tensed. “She would have fought me on it, so I made it so she wouldn’t.”
“You hurt her?” I asked in surprise.
“Not physically,” he snapped. “I’d never hit a woman.”
“I wouldn’t be sitting here if I thought you would. But we both know that emotional pain can be just as bad. Sometimes it’s worse.”
“Yeah,” he said, his voice going gravely. “I was hateful. I made damn sure she wouldn’t want me back.”
“So you sacrificed yourself for her.” A statement, not a question.
“Don’t do that,” he said in disgust. “Don’t make what I did out to be noble.”
“Fine,” I said. “I won’t. But let me ask you this—she was a grown woman. Why couldn’t she decide whether she wanted to be with you or not? Why did you get to make that decision for her?”
He turned and looked out the window. “Because I’m a controllin’ asshole.”
I let out a short laugh. “I already knew that. Surely, she did too.”
“She did. But she has this habit of seein’ the best in people and believin’ they can overcome their shortcomings.”
I considered that. “Maybe you needed her to see the good parts of you.”
“Who said she saw any good parts of me?” he asked in disgust.
“Because I also wouldn’t be here if there weren’t any.”
He bent his knee, drawing it up. “Like I said, she made a decision that was the nail in the coffin of our relationship. And I’d be lyin’ if I said that everything I spit at her was a lie.”
