Yue curls in a bit closer, the tips of our toes brushing up against one another. “I wonder what it’s like,” she whispers. “To be loved by someone so much that they’d be willing to kill the stars for you.”
“Poets have tried putting it into words for centuries.”
“But what about you? What does the great Captain Sonam think it means to be loved?”
I pause, turning her question over in my mind, though there is hardly a neat, simple explanation. “It’s a great many things, I think. To be loved is to be seen. To be accepted. To be not only wanted but needed.”
“Must be nice,” she mumbles, her lips barely grazing my own as she speaks. It’s not a kiss, not quite.
But I want it to be.
“What is this spell you have me under?” I whisper, more to myself than to her.
She laughs softly. “This is no spell.”
“Yue, I…” I set my jaw, swallowing hard. The right words won’t come to mind. As much as I want to lean forward and claim her lips for my own, I resist with just as much adamance.
Because there is only one truth: No matter how I yearn to know her touch, it doesn’t change what we are. A demon and her hunter. What love could we ever hope to share?
Our hearts are made of different metals, hers forged from gold and mine from silver. We’re destined to clash. Perhaps not now,when the light is dim and we’re desperate for each other’s warmth, but someday—and soon. We are reluctant allies here in Hell, but once we return to the surface, that is over.
We cannot change what we were born to be.
“I’m sorry. I—”
“It’s fine,” she says, pulling away.
The sudden distance between us leaves me empty. I expect to look up and see dejection. Rage.Hurt. Instead, I’m greeted with a resigned smile. And somehow, that’s a million times worse, because it means she knows, just as I know, that we were never meant to be.
“We should get going,” Yue whispers. She stands and leaves, stealing all the warmth of the room along with her.
39Sonam
Hunting Log #399:
Almost there.
Are you hungry, Yue?
When Sooah says Yue’s name, she uses the same sign as she does to indicate the moon as shorthand. She holds up a few scraps of jerked beef as we walk, but Yue shakes her head. Sooah takes Yue’s hand and places the scraps in her palm anyway.
“Thank you,” Yue says with a sigh. “Can you teach me how to sign that?”
The corners of Sooah’s eyes crinkle as she smiles. She demonstrates, resting the open palm of her left hand over the closed fist of her right. Yue copies the motion.
“I guess ye really can teach an old dog new tricks,” Wen says.
Yue laughs dryly. “Keep that up and I’ll bite your nose off.”
“Liar.”
“You think I won’t?”
Wen chuckles. “Deep down, I think you like me more than you care to admit.”
Yue scrunches up her face as if smelling something repugnant. “Don’t kid yourself. I barely tolerate your existence.”
I’d take her at her word, Sooah says with a grin.
