A soft laugh escapes me, a wheezy little sound. I’ll let the issue rest.
I absentmindedly continue to flip through his notebook, admiring the clear progression in artistic skill. Some creatures I’m able to put a name to, others I’m not. There are notes neatly scribbled in the margins, each stroke firm and confident. Sonam is a thorough huntsman. He’s listed weaknesses, strengths. I’m convinced there isn’t a beast in the entire world he hasn’t encountered.
A fei beast with one frightening round eye in the middle of its face. A razor-toothed yayu. A flock of Zhenniao birds.
When I come up to the last entry, I freeze.
On the page is a nine-tailed fox, every detail immaculate. From my six obsidian eyes with gray pupils to my pointed ears and the matted sections of my fur that I have no time to groom. He’s even captured my burns. I gingerly run the tips of my fingers over the image, careful not to smudge his work. It’s strange seeing myself through someone else’s eyes. He’s even drawn me with my mask on, duplicating the slope of my nose and the voluminous waves of my shiny black hair.
I’m beautiful.
Or, more accurately, the mask is.
I want to admire his work. Truly, I do. But then I remember the purpose of his little notebook. His hunting log. There’s a reason behind his study, and it leaves me unnerved.
“Of all the things you could have done,” I murmur, “surely the king could have afforded you the life of a scholar, if not a proper title.”
Sonam sets his jaw. “I vowed vengeance,” he says. “When Jun died, I vowed to kill every demon on earth.”
“And?” I prompt, sensing the way he hesitates.
“The Jade Palace will never recognize me,” he says firmly. “Not the king, not my brothers, and not the advisors whispering in their ears. Not until I’ve proven my worth. Banishing you to Hell would have achieved that.”
I bite my tongue, his words ringing loud and clear. There’s a resoluteness in his tone that makes my stomach churn.
“When we first fell,” I murmur. “You could have killed me.”
“I’m aware.”
“So why didn’t you?”
Sonam is silent for a long while, his eyes cast down. “I don’tknow,” he confesses softly. “But trust I won’t make the same mistake twice.”
I nearly forgot who I was talking to. No exceptions will be made, no more deals struck. Our reluctant alliance has kept me safe thus far, but sooner or later, Sonam will make his lethal move. Unless I come up with a plan, he will inflict hurt upon me just as everyone else has. I’d be a fool to expect anything less.
I close the book gently and hand it back to him, avoiding his gaze as I stare out toward the grounds of the Jade Palace. It looks so big and lonely. I don’t understand why Sonam would want to return to a place like this.
“Get some rest, human,” I murmur. “You need it more than I.”
20Sonam
Hunting Log #384:
She’s surprisinglyfunny and
She’s rude and crass and I can’t wait to be rid of her.
Sooah wakes me a fewhours later for my turn on watch. She has a small fire burning, sparked to life using the shavings of what was once one of Wen’s arrows. The flames are dim, flickering with its last sparks of life.
She brings her fingers up to poke at the space between my brows.You frown even in sleep, she tells me, teasing in a sisterly fashion.Your face is going to get stuck.
“We both know it already has,” I say with a good-natured huff.
Warily, I glance over my shoulder. The fox appears sound asleep in the opposite corner of the pavilion. She lies on her side, knees tucked up to her chest. There’s something upsetting about seeing her all by her lonesome, cast out like the reject of the herd. But most distressing of all…
Yue holds her own hand as she sleeps, held out just beside her weary head. She lies there with her fingers threaded, the gentle rise and fall of her chest barely perceptible. Every now and then,the muscles in her jaw twitch. Not once have I thought it possible for demons to dream. What haunts a monster’s nightmares?
“Anything to report?” I ask Sooah in a hushed tone.
