“I’m sorry,” he murmurs into her hair. “I wasn’t thinking. I shouldn’t have left the way I did—”
“Don’t apologize. You have nothing to apologize for.”
“Yes. Yes, I do. You’re important to me, Eden. I shouldn’t have shut you out.”
“You only did that because I carried on the way I did. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”
“That’s no excuse to stonewall you. It’s just... My brain shut off. I wasn’t thinking because I couldn’t.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me. Not unless you want to. I’m just so glad you’re safe.”
“This was just a stupid fight.”
“Yeah. Really stupid.”
He breathes her in. Eden melts into his touch.
“Jesus,” he grumbles. “You’re freezing. Do you want to go inside?”
“Yes, please,” she mutters through chattering teeth.
* * *
They end up on her couch. He sits forward while she straddles his lap, chest to chest, arms draped over his shoulders as they continue to embrace.
They’re like this for a long while, holding each other. Recharging. They say nothing. Neither of them has the energy to start. Eden knows they have a lot to talk about still, but for now, this is fine.
He rubs his palms up and down the curve of her back. She closes her eyes and rests her face in the crook of his neck.
“I should have said that I quit,” he says softly. “Not that I’m done. That was a poor choice of words.”
“You quit?”
“That place... I think being at La Rougemakes me crazy.”
“You’re not crazy.”
“It makes mefeelcrazy. I feel like...” He tilts his head back and rests it against the back of the couch. “I feel like I was always going to explode. It was just a matter of time. I’m just sorry that you had to see it. I’m sorry that I didn’t reach out sooner. It wasn’t my intention to frighten you.”
All Eden can do is nod. She doesn’t mind. Sure, in the moment, it had been frightening to see him leave. But Alexander’s here now, and that’s what matters most to her.
“Are you really alright with that?” she asks softly. “I’m not questioning your choice. I just want to know if you’ve thought this through.”
“I haven’t. That’s why I needed some time away. To think. I thought working on a new menu would help inspire me. Turns out, it’s even more of a drag. Honest to God, the only time I felt even remotely okay was when I was cooking with you.”
Eden smiles gently. “Do you mean that you’re done with La Rouge, or cooking in general?”
“I don’t know. Maybe both. It’s kind of terrifying.” He sighs. “It’sreallyterrifying. This is all I’ve ever known. Food is my passion.Wasmy passion. I can’t imagine doing anything else with my life, but I also know that I can’t keep doing things like this. I’m... I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I need a break. From all of it.”
She sits back and takes in his face. She believes him, can see the fatigue in the lines of his face. She’s personally experienced burnout once or twice, but what Alexander’s going through...
This is on a whole other level. A devastating one.
“Whatever you need,” she tells him, cupping his cheeks in her hands. “I promise I’ll be here. Not pushing. Just... here.”
“Thank you, Eden. I needed to hear that.”
“What now?”
