“So, the ship is learning the language by listening to us?”
Iris prayed for Yan to take this leap of faith with him. “No, the ship is learning it from absorbing us into itself.” He nodded over to where Tev’s body rested, now fully engulfed by the bioluminescence of the fungi.
That last bit was too much, and Yan pulled away. Iris’s hand fell from his arm. “I think you need to rest.” Yan moved off the blanket, and the space he left behind was cold and impersonal. “I understand that you wish to find an explanation for everything that’s been happening, but you are working with a limited understanding of how ships operate, of how an AI operates. Yes, you’ve been living with one for nearly two decades, but people have spent their entire careers studying AI, examining it. Iamone of those people. These systems do not form independently, and they do not interface with organics. If they did, we would be having a lot of issues, least of which would be a sentient ship/garden hybrid. You’re frightened, and you want answers. But you’ve spent your life reciting mantras and burning incense. Please,please, leave AI to people who study it, people who understand it.”
That was it then, the line drawn across their fragile, mutual understanding. Iris could only articulate his thoughts so well before he reduced himself to a mad, bumbling fool who wouldn’t be taken seriously. Maybe Yan was right. Maybe he was exhausted and delirious and only a little concussed. Maybe he was out of his depth.
Yet, Iris sensed theNicaeaall around him, her life flowing through the vines and the moss. If only he had therightwords to articulate it, to convince Yan that he wasn’t simply frightened, a way to convince the engineer that his own understanding of the ship was based on observation and experimentation, albeit not as rigorous as what an institute could manufacture in a lab. He was being misunderstood again, the filters at every step of communication distorting his message further. Of all people, Iris thought bitterly, he had hoped for Yan to understand.
But Iris was also to blame in failing to understand what was spoken at him. In hindsight, the ship had been trying to speak with him since the very beginning. He had ignored her pulses until now, and they were all paying the price for his oversight. He had wrongly assumed that the ship wasn’t alive. He had wrongly assumed what was possible.
Despite his soreness and the simmering discouragement, Iris got to his feet. “I appreciate you coming all this way to tend to me,” he said. No, he would not challenge Yan’s understanding, not yet. They could fight about it on their trek back. “But we should get going. The others will be worried about you.”
“You should really rest some more, Vessel.”
They had certainly returned to their professional titles fast. Iris gave Yan a deep bow, concealing the disappointment smeared across his face. It was nice while it had lasted, brief as it was. Despite his mind’s resistance, despite the urge to clutch to the memory, Iris placed the moment in its respectful place and shut the door on it. Disappointed or not, Yan deserved his respect and compassion, regardless of what the engineer chose to call him.
With a few shaky steps, Iris walked towards his duffel bag and dug around in it. In the growing darkness, his fingers quickly identified two bruised apples and what appeared to be a baked potato scattered at the bottom of the duffel bag. Iris saidnothing to acknowledge their presence. Instead, he pulled out the glow sphere. With a few rhythmic taps of his fingers, he set it alight. “Whenever you’re ready, engineer Yan.”
In the dying light of the shrinking flames, Yan said in a voice distant and strained, “I wish you wouldn’t call me that.”
14
And when I failed to do right for the dead,
I turned to what I could do for the living.
And when I failed to do right for many,
I turned to do right for the few.
And what I failed to change in myself, I will change in others.
And maybe that will be enough.
I will make it enough.
Excerpt from “A Secular Way Towards a Faithful Life”
by Vessel Iris
They were two kilometres out from the meeting spot when Yan tripped for the fifth time and made heavy contact with the floor. This time, instead of jumping to his feet with a quick curse, Yan stayed down. With his back pressed against the wall, the engineer looked up at Iris, face ashen beneath tan skin. Fine lines of sweat trickled down his temples, smearing old dirt and blood; utterly pathetic.
Kneeling by his side, Iris held out the orb in one hand and with the other took out the baked potato from his bag. “Please eat,” he said. “You must be feeling quite faint.”
Yan gave him a stubborn grimace and shook his head. “That’s yours. I already ate.”
Yan’s stubbornness had almost grown endearing.Almost.
Iris couldn’t remember the last time he had eaten anything. It must have been at least two days ago. That gave him another five. He could weather another five days. With two days of fasting already behind him, the worst of the gnawing hunger, the dizziness, and the headaches was over. “Please eat.” He gently nudged the potato into the engineer’s hand. “I will do much better if I keep to a fast. If I keep taking in small meals, it will confuse my body. Now, it’s drawing energy from my fat reserves—”
Yan snorted.
With a reserved roll of his eyes, Iris continued, “My body is drawing energy from my fat reserves, but I need to continue fasting, so it doesn’t change back to thinking it has food available. It will continue to do so until either food becomes readily available, or I run out of fat. I should be all right for another few days without feeling too ill. As long as I have water and maybe some tea, I will be quite content. So,please, eat.” He nudged the potato again.
The engineer gave him a skeptical raise of one eyebrow. “Why is it that you think you can fast for nearly a week and be all right?”
“We all have our strengths, engineer Yan, ourexpertise.” Iris gave a small, self-satisfied smirk. He was gloating, and it was very unbecoming of him, but these were exceptional circumstances, and he would allow himself this small moment of triumph. “You, for example, have spent your life studying artificial intelligence systems and are now an expert. I have spent my life reciting mantras, burning incense, and mastering my body and mind, so I can fast for a week without it affecting me too much.Eat.”
