Iris’s vision swam. Still, his mind feverishly grasped for the original line meant for newly ordained Vessels, one Yan was so eloquently twisting.
And through your righteous work you will find peace, and through your righteous life you will sprout gardens where you step, and you will find family in every stranger for as long as you walk the righteous path.
Iris groped for Yan’s forearm in the dark, but his arms were leaden and refused to listen. When he could see again, the world was turned ninety degrees. His face was pressed against the soft moss of the corridor. Childlike hands worked around the back of his head, and Iris wanted to tell them to leave him alone, topleaseleave him alone, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak. VIFAI had been silent throughout the ordeal and even now communicated only through gentle pings. It also wished to remain in silent abandon. With great effort, Iris brushed the hands away from his head and forced himself to sit up. Pushing down a wave of nausea and using the corridor wall for support, he got to his feet and staggered away, praying that he was going in the direction opposite to anywhere Yan was.
All he could do now was grant the engineer his wish.
When Iris’s feet finally stopped, he was facing Tev’s body. It rested beneath his once-white robes, already encircled with a lattice of mycelium. The body protruded from the floor as a faint organic bulge, an extension of the larger ecosystem. Iris’s throat ached for water, but despite VIFAI’s calls for it, he ignored the need and, instead, lowered himself to his knees before Tev. Here, he would be retaken by the ecosystem as well. Iris reached beneath the sleeve of his undershirt and detached the pulsar blade from his forearm. He lay the weapon in front of him, watched it glisten faintly against the emerald moss. Closing his eyes for the final time, Iris relieved his body of all tension and crumpled to the ground.
The Infinite Light does not love,he thought.
But you already knew that.An echo of his own voice reached his fading consciousness.
CONTACT—UNDERSTAND—UNDERSTAND LANGUAGES—
Tev’s distorted voice roused Iris into consciousness.
AI COMMUNICATE—ONE ANOTHER—UNDERSTAND—UNDERSTAND—
Iris tried to say something, anything at all, but his voice cracked, and he broke down into a coughing fit. All that he could see was a faint blue glow, rising all around him. When he tried to lift his arm from the ground, he found it tied down by a thin bioluminescent net that stretched and morphed as he fought against it weakly.
HUNGRY—HUNGRY AGAIN.
Iris jerked upright at the sound of his own voice coming from the speakers, tainted with static and an electric hue. The faint net held him down by the neck and the base of his skull. He was only able to turn his head sideways, to peer at Tev’s faintly glowing corpse.
SURRENDER—SURRENDER—MYSELF.
He wanted to scream for help. He did, internally, for VIFAI, but it was silent and nowhere to be found in the wide-open chasm at the back of his mind. He was alone. For the first time in his adult life, Iris was truly alone. The pulsar blade was too far away, and he was far too weak.
For years, Iris had wished for death to come softly for him, for it to cradle him as a child would be and grant him reprieve. He had wished for no pain or struggle, only the ease of letting go. How quickly those feelings passed. How quickly real danger had ignited his will to live. Too late, far too late to give him a fighting chance. He would meet the same end as Tev, but no one would mourn his return to the One Beginning.
SURRENDER—
With a final gasp, Iris tumbled into the black abyss where the faint, blue glow of the fungi was his only company.
RETREAT
THE DYING TWIN-STAR SUTRA
lecture five of seven delivered by the one Mother Nova of the Northern Temple of the Starlit Order to the newly ordained Vessel apprentices
[Apprentice discussion included throughout]
Mother Nova:“Two stars orbited one another for all eternity. They had been together since the beginning of all time and would spend the rest of all time together. Equal in mass and luminosity, they were identical in every way. But as time passed, the bond between them weakened, and as they spun around one another, one star began to slowly drift away.” What does this opening passage tell us about relationships?
Apprentice:Relationships, no matter how strong and perfect, will falter with time.
Mother Nova:Perhaps. Or perhaps, the way we relate to others can change with time. It is neither good nor bad, but only changing. Remember, change is the only constant of the cosmos. Let’s keep going.
“Frightened, one of the stars, feeling that its companion was slowly drifting away, turned all its faculties towards pulling the drifting star closer. After all, they had been orbiting one anotherfor millennia, and neither wanted to be alone. The drifting star couldn’t help but drift, and the remaining star couldn’t help but remain. Still, neither wanted to lose their companion. The remaining star pulled the drifting star closer. It pulled harder and harder, closer and closer. For the closer the drifting star came, the better the remaining star felt.” What does this tell us about the nature of some relationships?
Apprentice:That someone will inevitably clutch too tightly?
Mother Nova:Correct! But do not place blame on the one who clutches too tightly, for they are doing so not out of malicious intent, but out of fear. So much of what we do is driven by fear. We hold on, or we drift away, because we cannot see the objective truth of what is.
“The harder the remaining star pulled, the closer the drifting star drew.” And we all know how gravity works. “When the drifting star got too close, the remaining star began to absorb it into itself. It took the luminosity and the mass. And the drifting star could do nothing but let itself go and watch its companion devour it. And the remaining star took more and more until there was nothing left of the drifting star. And the remaining star said, ‘Now you are one with me, and you will never leave.’ But there was no one to leave now, for the drifting star was gone. And the remaining star was now alone and lonelier than ever.” What does this tell us about relationships?
Apprentice:That the desire for the Other will always lead to suffering?
