I swallow the disappointment that bubbles in my throat. She said it so casually, like she’s not going to be hurt when we’re over. Even though she confessed to liking me, she still seems much better at detaching from this than I am.
I force myself to smile. “Me too.”
At least I’ll have the memories to hold on to when this is over.
Chapter 19
I’ve been sobusy that I’ve barely seen Juniper this week. Countless trail rides, lots of lessons, and I was in charge of the after-dinner activity twice. I was expecting to have Wednesday off, but Mr. Calhoun asked me to switch with Shane so he could go to an appointment in Missoula.
Now, it’s Friday morning, and I don’t know what to do with myself. This is a recurring problem when I have a day off. I don’t like sitting still, but Mr. Calhoun was adamant when we started that we needed to take our days off to do something fun or relaxing, not just work the day away.
The only leisurely thing I want to do is lie in bed with Juniper. I remember Mrs. Calhoun mentioned Juniper had today off, too. Maybe we can’t lounge in bed all day, but maybe we can hang out in the daylight and do something that doesn’t involve work.
Like a date.
No, I can’t think like that. Not like a date. Just friends with the same day off, hanging out. Maybe kissing a little.
That thought is what has me dressing quickly and rushing down the stairs, greeted by the scent of coffee and bacon. Mrs.Calhoun is flipping pancakes when I enter the kitchen, and she turns and gives me a warm smile in greeting.
“Good morning, Addison. Hungry?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Good. Have a seat.” She points her spatula at the kitchen table, and I obey. She sets a plate with all the fixings in front of me, as well as a mug of coffee, and joins me with her own. Mrs. Calhoun seems to dislike silence just as much as her daughter, because right after I take my first bite, she asks, “Any fun plans for your day off?”
I shrug. “Nothing so far. Do you have anything you need help with?”
She waves me off, shaking her head. “Oh, no. You enjoy your free time. I was just being a little nosy. Wanted to see if Juniper asked you to go with her, but I guess that’s a silly question since she’s already left.”
“Go with her? Where has she gone?” She’s leaving the ranch? Will she be with someone? If she’s alone, she might have a panic attack, and then she won’t be able to get back as easily. I don’t like the idea of her being out and about without me—I mean, someone—to help her if she needs it.
“To the wildflowers. She hasn’t been able to see them yet, and I commissioned a new painting for cabin five. She left about twenty minutes ago so she could get good lighting.”
“Oh. Cool.”
Juniper never mentioned that. I don’t know why I’m so disappointed, but I’m glad to know she’s not far. She’s in one of her safe spaces.
I shouldn’t have the urge to follow her out there and watch her paint all day, but I do. I want to watch her process, see those cute little lines that form between her brows when she focuses on something.
No. I need to find something else to do other than follow Juniper like a little lost puppy. I can take the day to give Athena aproper washing, or I can call my parents and check in. Maybe I can sweet-talk Mrs. Calhoun or Kathy into letting me help turn over beds.
We finish our breakfast, chatting about the guests who were here this week: a group of friends from Utah who came to get away. I recognized Levi Kane, a championship bull rider, right away, and I’ll admit I was a little wary. He has a reputation for being a cocky asshole, but he and his friends were polite and respectful, and some of them even had experience with horses, so teaching them how to ride was a breeze. It felt a little less like work and more like hanging out with them this week.
Mrs. Calhoun refuses to let me help her with the dishes, but I wash my own plate, utensils, and cup anyway. Really, I’m wasting time trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do with the rest of my day.
“Oh dear. What am I going to do with that girl?” She sighs, shaking her head, pulling a fabric cooler from the fridge, and wiggling it. “Juniper forgot to take the lunch I packed, and knowing her, she’ll paint and paint until the sun goes down. I bet she didn’t even take any water. Would you mind taking this to her, so she doesn’t starve or get dehydrated?”
“Yes,” I say all too quickly. “I mean, no, I don’t mind. I can take it to her.”
A wide smile spreads across Mrs. Calhoun’s face. “You’re a lifesaver. Thank you. Oh! Here, take this, too.” She goes to the mudroom just off the kitchen and comes back with a worn-looking checkered blanket. “That way you have somewhere to sit that’s not on the hard ground.”
“Oh, I probably won’t stay.”
“We’ll see. I’d best get going to see the guests off. Thank you again, Addison. Have a wonderful day.” She tosses me a wink before she’s out the door, leaving me with more questions than answers.
I take the cooler and blanket out to the barn and saddle upAthena. I grab a few extra bottles of water and an extra apple for her before I load up and head to the trails.
I hope Juniper is okay with me showing up like this, but if this goes wrong, I can blame her mom.
