I blink back tears. Bry and I have always been close, and knowing she’s going through this big, scary thing makes my heart hurt.
“Thank you for telling me.” I glance at the clock on the stove. “I should get to bed. Early rise tomorrow with the group coming.”
Mama wraps me in a hug, placing a kiss on my forehead.
The tears I was trying to hold back come at full force.
“I know you’re worried about her, but she’ll be okay. All we can do right now is love her and hold her hand through it. We don’t know what the future holds, but you can count on the fact that we’re in this together, right?”
I wipe my eyes, giving Mama a watery smile. “I know. Love you, Mama. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Love you too.” She wipes a few stray tears and squeezes my shoulder before she walks out of the kitchen.
That’s when I realize Addison is still here, and embarrassment slithers up my spine. She must think I’m a crybaby for tearing up over something silly—Mama’s right; Briar’s fine right now. Here I am acting like she was the one in the crash and not her friends. My anxiety makes me tear up at the silliest things, and I hate that I can’t control it.
I despise the look of pity on Addison’s face. God, why do I keep breaking down in front of her?
“I’m just… gonna head out,” I say, motioning toward the back door. “See you bright and early for the first guests of the season.”
“Right, yeah. Goodnight. Sleep well.”
“You too.”
When I get home, instead of anxiety over Bry keeping me up, I’m wondering why Addison looked like she wanted to say more.
Chapter 10
We've been sittingon the front porch waiting for hotshot rich dude and his team for the past hour. Mr. Dupont hasn't communicated that there are any issues, and along with Juniper's increasing anxiety, I can sense Mr. Calhoun's frustration. The dark circles under her eyes tell me she didn’t sleep well, and I want more than anything to ask her how I can help. I want to take away all her anxiety, at least for a day, so she can rest.
I should have left the kitchen last night when her mom was talking about her sister. Their family business isn’t my concern, but I swear Juniper’s entire demeanor changed when her mom told her what had happened. I wanted to go to her, wrap her in a hug. I know I can’t change the situation or stop what might come next, but maybe I could have brought her some comfort.
Except that’s not what we’re doing. It’s not who we are to each other. We agreed that things would go back to being professional after Friday night, and that’s how it needs to be.
Even if it’s killing me not to touch her the way I want.
Living life on the rodeo circuit was the dream, and I’ve never been one to think about settling down. A different city every week, a new person in my bed when I wanted companionship. None ofthe emotional attachment that comes with being in a relationship. I saw how my parents’ marriage was, and I don’t want a marriage like theirs. They’re roommates at best and strangers who live together at worst.
I’ve been in serious relationships before, but the man I was with last wanted me to slow down with barrel racing. He said he couldn’t travel with me and that I wasn’t a good communicator when I was gone. It’s not like Ineverchecked in with him, but I wasn’t texting and calling him every hour of the day.
I found out later that he was cheating on me whenever I went to a rodeo, and I haven’t seriously dated someone in almost four years.
Opening myself up to another person only to be left sounds about as fun as stepping on a rusty nail.
Even if I wanted to date Juniper, how would that work when this summer is over? I haven’t stayed in one place longer than six months, and it’s clear she doesn't want to leave the ranch. I’d never ask her to do something that’s a big source of anxiety. Would the occasional text and call be enough to keep us going?
It doesn’t matter. You can’t have her.
But damn, do I want her again. Not just sexually. It was a herculean task to leave in the middle of the night instead of snuggling up with her and falling asleep. I want to wake up with her. I want to hold her hand during dinner and spend evenings looking at the stars. I want to know every thought that rushes through her head.
And it’s scary, feeling these things for her.
I have a feeling this Mr. Dupont guy is going to be a problem. As soon as he demanded special treatment with scheduling, I knew. This isn’t my business, so I kept my mouth shut. If he causes problems for the Calhouns, and he dares to show up late, I won’t be nice. They’re good people; they deserve the utmost respect.
“Let me try his cell again,” Mr. Calhoun says, pulling out hisphone and stepping off the porch. “Maybe their flight was delayed.”
“We’re going to be so behind schedule.” Juniper mumbles, checking her clipboard for the umpteenth time. “I need to go tell Landry and Oakley to hold off on lunch until we can get them settled.”
“I can go tell them,” Rusty says.
