That’s when all the blood left his face.
FORTY-SIX
GRANT
That’s when shit got real.
This wasn’t happening.This couldn’t be happening. I couldn’t do this, could I?
“E.G.! I am, like, not kidding. This really fucking hurts!”
Flowers was sitting next to me in the passenger seat of the car, struggling against the seatbelt as her whole body was seized with a contraction.
“We need to get to the hospital,” she said through clenched teeth. “I want my epidural. I NEED my epidural.”
She was in pain. The mother of my child was in pain and I was doing nothing to help her. I hit the ignition button to turn on the car and slowly backed out of the driveway. I just needed to focus.
I could do this. I could get her to the hospital safely.
No, I couldn’t.
I hit the brake and rested my head against the steering wheel.
“No, no, no, E.G. Not now. I get you’ve got issues with this, but I need you to push through them right now. You can do it. You can do it!”
“We could call an ambulance,” I said through the fog that was overwhelming my brain.
“We would still have to wait! Just suck it up and drive! Owwwwww! It’s happening again.”
I looked over, and sure enough, I could actually see the ripple of the contraction grip her belly under her shirt.
“If you care anything, anything about me, you’ll do this. You’ll do this now!”
That’s when it became so clear to me. What a fool I’d been this whole time. Not because I had hang ups about driving. Those fears were justified. And they were justified because the person in the car with me was the most important person in my world.
Of course, I loved Flowers. It’s why I was so damn scared right now.
I eased off the brake and hit the accelerator. She was moaning, but I didn’t turn to look at her. I needed to focus on the road. On the traffic around me. At every stop sign. Every signal. There could be no mistakes. Not a single misstep.
“You’re doing good, E.G.,” she panted. “Real good. Keep going. You got this. The hospital is only about a mile away.”
That’s right. The woman I loved, who was currently in the process of bringing our child into the world, who was writhing in pain next to me, was also doing her level best to make sure I was okay.
But I couldn’t focus on that. I couldn’t tell her to breathe through the contractions, or to hold my hand, or tell her she was amazing and strong and beautiful.
Because I would not be distracted. I would not allow a single fucking thing to happen on this drive to the hospital because I was going to be with Flowers and our baby.
And I was going to love the shit out of them. Both of them.
I made one last turn, and the hospital, like it had been heaven sent, rose out of the earth like a castle in the middle of what was a cul-du-sac.
The emergency room entrance just off to the right. I pulled up to the doors, hopped out and ran inside, where I found the first person I could find wearing a pair of scrubs.
He was tall and looked fairly competent.
“Baby! Coming! Help me now!”
I think I spoke English words. I hoped I had, because I was already running back to Flowers who was making a valiant effort to get out of the car. When I turned, the man in the scrubs was behind me with a wheelchair.
