Ten minutes later, I rested my head on the seat and stared out of the window. My stomach was hurting again, and I tried my hardest to will it away. My period was a little late, but that always happened. If it were about to come on, it needed to hurry. I feel like shit right now.
"Oh, gosh." I held my hand over my mouth.
Before I could tell Jamari to pull over on the side of the road, he had already done so. I hopped out of the car and puked my lungs out. Jamari was right there, holding my hair back and rubbing my back. By the time I was done, nothing else came out, but tears spilled down my face. I hated it when I vomited. It made me feel disgusted with myself. That was why I never let myself get too drunk.
Jamari helped me up, and we leaned against his car. "What's going on with you? Are you sure you're okay? I've never known you to get or be sick since we met. Do you need to go to the hospital?" I heard the concern in Jamari's voice, but I didn't know how to respond to anything right now.
He rubbed his hand up and down my back, massaging me. The feeling felt too damn good, too. It had me wanting to stay like this, but I knew it wasn't best.
"I'm not sure. Maybe I need to lie down." I yawned, leaning into him.
He dropped a kiss on my forehead. I shivered, cold. "I guess it's time to go. Do you want to go to the hospital or not?"
I nodded. "Yeah, I need to know why I'm feeling as sick as I am. It came out of the blue."
"Okay, we can go."
Jamari helped me into the car and fastened my seatbelt. I gave him a weak smile when he pulled back from pecking my lips.
"Let's go to urgent care. The hospital might be packed," Jamari suggested when he got back in the car.
Truth be told, both of them were probably packed. I hated going to the doctor for even a checkup. If I were healthy, I felt no need to go. The only time a doctor would see me was at my annual checkup.
"Did you eat something that might have caused your stomach to hurt?" Jamari asked.
I shook my head. "No. You know I barely ate anything today. You were on me to eat something, but I haven't had an appetite."
Jamari hissed. "Yeah, that's right. Maybe you knew something was wrong with you beforehand but couldn't put a finger on it."
I nodded with a yawn. "Yeah, that's probably it. And then I'm tired too."
"Maybe you just need sleep. I just hate seeing you like this. Hell, I'd never seen you like this, and it's scary to see you down."
I reached out and touched his thigh. "I'm okay..." As much as I wanted to say I think, I didn't. "Let's just go to the doctor and see what could be wrong."
"Gotcha."
An hour later, I stared dumbfounded at the nurse. The words that left her mouth had me speechless. It took everything in me not to pass out. I guess it was the arm Jamari had on me that kept me afloat. The only thing I wanted to do was melt into the floor. No way were those the words that came out of that woman's mouth. I couldn't accept what she had just disclosed.
"Let me see the test," I requested. I couldn't see myself with a child. Not yet anyway. Somewhere down the line, when I was married, yes, but right now, hell no!
She was quick to give me the test. Jamari and I leaned in close to see the results. It still made no sense. Me... Pregnant? I tried to think back to when this could've happened. For one thing, Jamari had never worn a condom, which meant it could have been any of the times.
"Oh gosh..." I muttered, unable to say anything else.
Jamari took the stick out of my hand and stared at it. "Damn, man."
After we found out that I was pregnant, we made it back to the car in silence. That was not something I wanted to be hit with on a Saturday morning. This seemed and felt like a dream I needed to be awakened from. Jamari probably couldn't handle another child right now, given that he had his siblings to raise. How would we even do this?
"You're thinking loud," Jamari mentioned, causing me to look over at him.
"Sorry," I mumbled and stared out the window.
"Talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking about."
I didn't know what to tell him. If I told him the truth, how would he take it? I didn't want this to start a fight between us. For one thing, since we got the news, both of us have been silent about it. Maybe we should keep it that way until we are ready to talk.
I shrugged and stared out of the window. "I'm fine," I responded, but I knew I wasn't. Something told me we might not be either.
