What if I lose her?
The thoughts linger like poison.
Time stretches.
The nurse comes in to explain the tests, her voice calm and clinical. I nod, even though half of what she says feels like it’s coming from underwater.
And then I hear a voice.
Low. Controlled. Familiar.
My stomach flips and then hardens into something bitter.
I glance up.
Through the ICU window, I can see Julian. He’s with Graham.
They’re standing together, talking, and Julian does not look happy. His jaw is tight, his posture rigid like he’s bracing against something.
Good.
He should feel uncomfortable. Anger burns through me suddenly, sharp and unwelcome. I slip off the bed carefully, so I don’t wake Emily and close the door behind me.
Graham turns when he sees me.
Julian turns too.
His eyes flare, not subtle, not controlled, and for a second, it feels like the entire hospital hallway shifts around that look.
“Lucy,” he says, stepping closer. “Are you...”
“I’m fine,” I cut in. “As fine as anyone can be when their mother is in the ICU.”
He absorbs that, jaw tightening. “I know you’re not happy with me.”
No, you don’t know.
“You left me at a table full of strangers,” I say quietly. “So you could dance with other women.”
His expression flickers. Guilt. Frustration. Something else I don’t want to name. Julian must not be used to people calling him on his shit, because the look on his face is telling.
“I will make it up to you,” he says. “I won’t make that mistake again.”
"No, you won't." I agree, "because there won't be a..."
Then he steps aside, and a man I hadn't noticed is standing there in a Tuxedo.
“Lucy, this is Dr. Teller.”
The world tilts, and I wish I felt steadier on my feet right now. The man beside Julian is older, silver-haired, sharp-eyed. Calm in that way that only comes from expertise.
The name takes my breath away.
“Dr. Teller?” I breathe.
He smiles kindly. “You must be Lucy. I’ve heard quite a bit about your mother. I’d like to review her file and ask you a few questions, if that’s all right.”
I stare at him, stunned. I’ve been trying to get her in to see him for years.
