Because right now, I don't have a defence, only the truth.
And the truth is, I am running out of time to prove I deserve her.
"I will not pretend that I deserve your sister, I will not argue the fact that I am a lucky man to be married to her, or that I screwed it all up. I need to talk to her, explain. And if she wants to share that with you after Emily, then she can. But the first person to hear my explanation is your sister."
Emily studies me for a moment, then gives me a sad sort of smile.
"She's chasing down the specialist with Graham. I am not sure exactly where; they mentioned he could be in a few locations. She will be back when she has convinced him to return with her," she says. "That's all you get."
Then she steps back and walks into the facility, the door closing between us.
And I am left standing on the wrong side of it, finally understanding that loving Lucy Bennett was never the hard part.
Being worthy of her is.
Chapter 48 - Lucy
I have been gone for seven days.
Seven days of borrowed time zones and sleepless nights. Seven days of airports that all blur together, of hotel rooms that never quite feel real, of living out of a carry-on because unpacking feels like admitting I might stay longer than planned.
Seven days of holding myself together because there wasn’t room to fall apart.
The specialist I am chasing is Dr. Elias Köhler, and he is not what I expected.
He’s young and brilliant. It comes across as sharp edges and a dangerous amount of confidence. He listens like someone who is used to being chased, accustomed to deciding whose desperation is worth his time.
At first, I’m invisible to him.
So I make myself impossible to ignore.
I follow him from meeting to meeting. I wait outside whatever room he is in. I talk when he doesn’t ask questions and stop when he does. I don’t hold back the truth, and I don’t dramatize it either. I tell him about my mother’s lupus, about the organ damage that keeps cascading, about how every treatment stabilizes one thing only to push another system closer to failure.
I don’t cry.
I don’t beg.
I tell him she’s getting worse.
And I look him in the eye and let him see everything I have carried for so long when I tell him, "I will not lose her to this."
Graham stays close, steady, a quiet presence behind me. He offers his weight when it’s needed, but mostly he lets me fight. Let's me lead. Let's me prove that this isn’t about money or influence or convenience. It’s about my mom and the time she has left.
Eventually, Köhler stops brushing me off.
He asks questions. Hard ones. Precise ones. He challenges Dr. Teller’s approach, not cruelly, but decisively. He agrees that my mother isn’t strong enough to be transferred, but if he comes with me, if he can adapt the treatment around what her body can still handle…
He pauses.
Considers.
Exhales slowly.
“I’ll come.” he says.
I don’t feel triumphant.
I feel like my lungs finally remember how to work.
