"You have me," I answer so quickly, so truthfully, I have to push the fear away; it has no place here. Not now.
"I need you in me, Julian, please."
I steal her moan with a kiss, and I push a finger inside her. I rub and play, and push, adding a second finger, needing her to cum for me. I need her ready for me.
Lucy is rocking her hips, meeting my fingers with every thrust. She is panting, and I can feel her start to clench down on my fingers. I move my thumb to put pressure on her swollen bud and growl into her ear, "Cum for me, wife, so I can show you what you do to me."
The words are barely out of my mouth, and she is cuming all over my fingers, screaming my name.
I don't think, I don't let her come down, I move on primal instinct. Positioning myself between her legs. I rub my cock through her folds, covering myself in her.
"Oh my god, Julian, yes... yes... fuck... please don't stop."
Her eyes are closed, like she is blissed out on her pleasure, but I want her eyes. I want to see her golden-brown eyes when I push into her.
I hold myself steady, my cock notched at her entrance and kiss her passionately before whispering on her lips, "Open your eyes for me, baby."
She does, her big brown eyes coming into view with a flutter of her long lashes, and then she locks onto me.
We stay positioned like that for a second, a minute... an hour. Long enough that we both understand what this is, what this means, without saying a word. Everything is said with our eyes.
And then I piston my hips forward. Lucy screams my name as I groan, doing everything to regain some control, to last longer than just this. I need more.
I pull back out to the tip and slam back in. Lucy pulls my face down to hers and kisses me frantically. We start to move together, already finding our rhythm, both giving and taking in equal measure. I want to explore her body more thoroughly. I want to try everything with her. But right now, I can't move from this moment, from this position. Lucy's hands in my hair, soul-deep kisses, and our sweat-slicked bodies moving in tandem.
I lose track of time until Lucy starts panting harder, chanting my name, and then I feel everything. She clenches down around me, and I feel the waves of her orgasm crashing all around me. I join her, and I cum so hard that I lose my vision for a moment.
We lay tangled together, sweat slick and covered in our release. I pull away, and Lucy whines, causing me to chuckle.
A shower meant to clean each other up ended up with me on my knees, getting my first taste of my wife, followed by rounds two and three.
When we finally come to rest, her head on my chest, her breath warm against my skin, something settles inside me.
Contentment.
Safety.
Home.
It scares the hell out of me. Because I know, without question now, that this was never just an arrangement. And for the first time in my life, I don’t know how to control what comes next. I don’t know if I even want to.
Chapter 39 - Lucy
Love doesn’t arrive the way people promise it will. I often wondered what it would feel like. I have had relationships, but I was young when Mom got sick, and then almost all my time and energy went into work, Emily and Mom. When I look back over the years and the few men I have dated, I can honestly say I had never been in love before.
Had I dreamt of it? Absolutely.
I had dreamt, hoped, wondered... But it didn't come to me as I had pictured in the romcom kind of way.
It didn't knock or announce itself. It didn't sweep in with fireworks and certainty and a voice that saysthis is it.
It settled in, quietly, patiently. In moments you don’t think to guard.
I don’t notice when it starts, not really. Only that one day I wake up and the shape of my life feels… altered. Softer at the edges. Less like something I’m bracing against and more like something I’m living inside.
It’s winter by then. Chicago wrapped in grey and white, the lake, steel-dark and endless. The penthouse windows frost at the corners overnight, and Julian complains about it like he’s personally offended by the weather.
We fall into routines without naming them.
