Not like a man at a holiday party.
He’s watching me like he’s starving. There’s something in his expression I’ve never seen before, heat, yes, and want... but also something deeper. Something unsettled. Something that looks an awful lot like awe.
I look away from the intensity of it, and my eyes trail briefly to his left.
Elliot, Theo, Rowan, and Caleb. All of them are watching Julian watch me.
The boy squeezes me tighter, pulling my attention back to him.
“Did you know,” he whispers conspiratorially, “that you’re very pretty?”
I smile. “Thank you.”
Cameras flash somewhere nearby.
I ignore them and focus on the little boy in my arms, the warmth of him, the simple joy of this moment.
But my body remembers Julian’s gaze. It stays with me, it lingers. And that’s when it happens. That quiet internal shift. That sense of tipping forward without realizing how far I’ve already gone.
Because I know, in that moment, holding a child, barefoot on a dance floor, under twinkling lights, that I’m not pretending anymore.
I’m not managing.
I’m not surviving.
I’m not playing a role.
I’m falling.
And I don’t know how to stop.
Or if I even want to.
Chapter 38 - Julian
People are smiling. Not the polite, practiced expressions I’ve come to expect at Northwell events. Not the tight, careful smiles worn by staff and executives who know they’re being watched. These are real. Loose. Unguarded. Laughter carries instead of polite conversation.
It takes me a moment to understand why.
Lucy.
She’s everywhere without trying to be. Talking easily. Laughing. Touching arms when she speaks, listening when others talk. She isn’t managing the room, she’s inhabiting it. And the effect is immediate. The event feels lighter. Less staged. People linger instead of circling for advantage. And it goes far beyond her presence here tonight, although I can tell that everyone she meets is instantly enamoured. It is the care and attention to detail that were put into this event. This isn't just another cold, corporate holiday event; it feels like something. Like Lucy.
I made sure she stayed by my side tonight.
I made sure Karen had a team to cover for Lucy, so she could enjoy the event as Mrs. North.
The dark green velvet gown moves with her as if it were designed for her body alone. The colour makes her skin warm,luminous. I catch myself tracking her without meaning to, adjusting my position so she’s always in my line of sight.
I don’t do that; I’m trained not to. But I cannot seem to help myself when it comes to her.
I accept our drinks from the bar and turn back toward the room, and that’s when I hear it.
Her laugh. It's not polite, not restrained. It is a sharp bark of genuine joy that cuts through the noise. It hits me in the chest hard enough that I stop mid-movement.
I turn, and I find her barefoot on the dancefloor, smiling down at a little boy. She's talking to a woman who I assume is his mother. I scan the space and see Ansel, one of the lawyers on my team, watching, who I now know to be his wife and son with Lucy.
And then, like it's the most natural thing in the world, the little boy holds open his arms, and Lucy picks him up with a smile that lights up her face.
