Theo took a deep breath. There was nothing to do but jump right in. “I thought you left Blackfriars because you were coming here to reconcile with Fletch. It was only after you’d been gone almost a week that I even heard about your brother’s accident.”
“What?” George said, clearly taken aback. “But I told Mrs. Ford…”
“There was a misunderstanding,” Theo said, embarrassed now. He didn’t want to admit the next part. “It was my fault. I… I saw the letter you received from Ollie that day.” Hurriedly, he added, “I honestly didn’t read it—not properly. But I glimpsed a few sentences, enough to see that he was angling to get you back. I wish I’d spoken to you about it then and there, but instead I went off to see Prentice, and by the time I got back, you were already gone—riding off to the loved one who needed you.” He closed his eyes briefly against the remembered pain. “I thought you were talking about Fletch. And when Mrs. Ford tried to talk to me about it, I cut her off. Said I already knew where you'd gone—I was sure I did, you see. It was only when Martin mentioned your brother, days later, that I realised my mistake.”
“I’m sorry,” George said, his dark gaze regretful. “I should have explained properly in my note, but I was rushing.”
Theo couldn’t suppress a huff of rueful laughter at that generous response. It was so typical of George.
“Don’t apologise," Theo said, reaching out to tenderly brush a lock of hair back from George’s forehead. “It’s not your fault I’m a bloody idiot.”
“A bloody idiot?”
“To say the least. The best I can say for myself is that once I realised my mistake, I set off the very next morning.”
George’s expression was so tender it made Theo’s throat ache. “Why?” he breathed.
“Because—” And here it was. Christ, Theo felt like he was about to jump off a cliff. “I never thought I’d say this to anyone, but now that I’m in this position I find I want to say it.” He stepped forward and took George's face in his hands, gazing into his beloved face. To his utter astonishment, the words, when they came, were some of the easiest he'd ever uttered. “I love you. And I want to be with you. I don’t even know if that’s possible, but it’s what I want more than anything.”
The change in George’s expression, from wary curiosity to shock, would have been funny in any other circumstances. As it was, Theo swallowed painfully and said, “You look horrified.”
“I’m—I’m absolutely not horrified,” George said quickly, lifting his hands to Theo’s shoulders. “But I am surprised. I had no idea you felt—” He broke off. Started again. “You said you never bed the same man twice. That things are simpler when you’re on your own.”
“They are,” Theo replied. “Simpler, and more straightforward and far less dangerous. But they’re smaller too, and lonelier, and I… I miss you, George. I never missed anyone before.”
“I miss you too,” George whispered. “This last fortnight has been miserable, thinking everything was over between us and I’d have to live the rest of my life in some bloody awful state of unrequited love.”
Theo’s heart leapt. “Are you saying—does that mean you love me too, George?”
“Of course I do,” George whispered. “Wasn't it obvious? God, Theo.” He dropped his forehead to Theo’s shoulder and gave a shuddering huff of rueful laughter.
Theo closed his arms around him, pulling him close, pressing a kiss to his temple. “George,” he whispered after a few long moments. “Please, look at me.”
George raised his head, meeting Theo’s gaze with one that was wild and vulnerable, his dark eyes shining with unshed tears. Blinking hard, he whispered, “Please. You can’t tell me you want me in your life if you’re going to change your mind in six months, or a year. I won’t be able to bear that. I’d rather know now.”
“I’m not going to change my mind ever,” Theo said firmly, putting a finger under George’s chin and tilting his face back up. “We’ll have to decide how we make a life together, but we’ll manage it somehow.”
“Will we?”
“Yes,” Theo said firmly, and then he grinned, because no matter how difficult the future was, it was already brighter and more beautiful than anything he’d ever imagined for himself. “You know," he said, “I had a lot of time to think on the way here, and I realised something that shocked me.”
“What was that?”
“All my life, I’ve prided myself on going my own way. Making my own decisions, and ignoring society’s expectations. But when I look at how I’ve lived and what future I imagined for myself, I can see now that I restricted my life to what I thought was possible, rather than what I actually wanted. Until now, I simply couldn’t envisage a life with someone I loved at my side. I’d already accepted that was out of my reach. Something I could never have. I truly believed my life had to be a solitary one.” He stroked his thumb over George’s cheek. “Until you, George. Until you came back into my life.”
“Came back into your life?” George echoed, raising a brow. “I’m not sure I was in your life before.”
“I mean when we were at school.”
George raised a single, sceptical brow. “Back then you just saw me as some prissy, annoying boy you had to be around sometimes. I mean, some of the things you used to say to me…”
Theo felt his cheeks warm. “I was a fool. But you know, George, the truth is, there was always something about you. I felt it from the first. I probably resented you because of it. The way you made me feel was… terrifying.”
“Really?” The smile that broke out over George’s face was sweet. “I was terrified too, back then. I was petrified you’d discover my enormous crush on you, and everyone at school would learn what I was. I was scared to even look at you most of the time. Ollie caught me out sometimes, and he’d tease me endlessly about it, telling me how horrified you’d be if you noticed.”
Theo scowled. “I wish I’d known. I’d have given him a facer.”
George laughed. “Would you? He had me entirely convinced that you hated me.”
