I groan. “I did so good on my other days!” I protest. “It’s not my fault you went and upped the stakes!”
He helps me to my feet, pouting. “I was giving you a treat.”
“I am undeserving of treats,” I say. “For clearly I short-circuit at the sight of them.”
His pouting lip twitches.
I sigh. “I lost today,” I mutter. “Which means, via the rules, that it’s nowyourturn.”
He grins, a delicious, feral thing, and I nearly swoon. “Indeed it does,” he mutters before pulling me to him for a quick, hard kiss. “Run along, then, love.”
I do, abandoning the sewing room with haste to return to my room. I throw my nothing-but-trouble phone onto my bed, then change out of my spy gear—a black maxi dress and a deep red lip—and exchange it for my more comfortable everyday clothing. Black is traded for pale pinks and yellows and blues, a soft explosion of color on a mid-length dress. I cover it with my favorite pink corset, then complete my outfit with a pair of chicken slippers Archie gifted to me one evening before bed. They don’t match, of course, but they’re big and they’re comfortable and they make my husband smile.
Before I can decide what I’m going to do with myself for the rest of the morning, my phone buzzes with a series of texts.
Freddie:A priest just left our house.
Freddie:Mom hired him to come and bless the car before we leave tomorrow. She says he exorcised any “bad spirits,” too, so that we don’t bring them with us to see you.
Freddie:She told me she doesn’t want to add any “negativity” to your “already tremulous situation.”
Freddie:…
Freddie:…
Freddie:You’re not gonna believe this, but
Freddie:A witch just showed up.
Freddie:Oh my gosh, Lia, she’s smudging the car.
Freddie:OH MY GOSH, LIA, SHE CAUGHT HERSELF ON FIRE SMUDGING THE CAR
The messages don’t stop, and I get a full live commentary on the cleansing and preparing of our mother’s Honda Civic, including updates on the witch’s fire, which is thankfully tamed quickly.
Lia:Stay away from the witch. And the car, probably. And also drugs. Stay away from drugs. Particularly whatever ones Mom is currently taking.
Freddie:No kidding.
Freddie:I wonder if they’re going to do this every time we visit.
I shudder at the thought of them visiting more than just this once. I mean, sure, I invited them. And they’re my family. And I love them. And I want to see them in the future.
However.
Cleansing the car, really? I got married. I didn’t join a Satan-worshipping cult and start hexing people. I’m not walking around with contagious curses oozing from my skin.
I remind myself, not for the first time, that running away in a fit of tears and marrying your celebrity crush is not normal behavior, so they have at least an inkling of a reason to be concerned about me at present. It’s all thebeforestuff that they should have trusted me on.
Freddie:I have to pack now so that the witch can protect my suitcase, I guess. Anything here you want me to bring to you?
Lia:Yes, actually! Can you get my Archie posters from my room?
Freddie:You want me to take down postersof the man you live withand bring them to your homewhere you live with that manso that you can put them up as decoration?
I blink, not seeing the issue he seems to be implying.
Lia:Yes.
