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Sarelia
Archie’s life is a lot different than I thought it was.
I knew about Millie and Heidi, of course, because they often join his livestreams, sitting next to him and interacting with the chat. They spend time there helping him tell stories about their real life adventures and the shenanigans they get up to while he builds on screen.
I even knew that Millie and Heidi were married to men who lived in the same small community that Archie lived in.
I did not know—or didn’t realize, maybe—that these people were not just friends and neighbors to Archie, but family.
Heidi’s tall, dark, and massive husband, Basil, greets my groom with a flick on the ear, a pat on the head, and a nod of maybe-encouragement while his firecracker wife rambles beside him about going to the animal shelter after the ceremony. Basil’s mom, Rosie—a sweet older woman whose entire aura screamsI am mothermixed withchic meets cozy—pats Archie on the cheek as her eyes well with tears. Then she turns to me, wrapping me in a hug so tight I lose the ability to breathe until Archie gently pries her off of me. My freedom is short-lived as Heidi and Millie to take her place, squishing me between them.
“A sister!” Heidi squeals, her long, dark mane flying around us. “Another one!”
“Sister! Sister! Sister!” Millie chants. “Oh my gosh, we can bond over being kidnapped!”
Archie not-so-gently swats them away from me. “No bonding with my wife untilI’vebonded with my wife.”
Heidi’s nose scrunches. “Ew, Archie. We don’t want to hear about youbonding.”
His mouth widens, canines glinting at her as he bares his teeth in a smile. “Then back off until the honeymoon phase has passed.”
“How long do you expect that to be?” Millie asks. “Cause we’d like to be the sisterhood of the traveling abductees sooner rather than later.”
Archie hums, tapping his chin as he considers. “About a year, I would guess. My love, you agree?”
A… year?
A whole year ofhoneymoonwithArchie?
My head bobbles in a nod as I risk whiplash to agree.
His mouth softens, and his eyes follow suit, turning his expression from predatory to sweet. Gentle amusement lifts the corners of his lips.
“A year isn’t going to work for me,” Heidi interjects. “I’ll give two days. Tops. Then, we want girl time.”
“Have your girl time with each other,” Archie suggests, reaching out to clasp my hand to his, like a puzzle I wouldn’t mind spending forever piecing together.
“Don’t be selfish,” Millie huffs. “We’re overrun with boys here. If we don’t get good, quality, andquantitygirl time soon, we’re likely to… I don’t know. Explode or something. And that explosion will probably come in the form of green slime covering your entire house.”
“With feathers,” Heidi adds, nodding. “Andglitter.”
Archie glares at them.
I clear my throat. “Um,” I venture, “isn’t that… my house too? Now?” I glance at Archie to make sure this conclusion isn’t too forward. We’re getting married, sure, but it isn’tmarriagemarriage, no matter what he might be implying to his family.Generally, it’s rude to invite yourself to live in someone else’s home when you are not entering intomarriagemarriage.
Archie seems unconcerned with my audacity, however, sliding his hand to the small of my back in a show of support.
My shoulders fall, and the warmth of his palm on my back lends me the courage to keep speaking. “I’m not sure your plan to slime, feather, and glitterize my new home is the best strategy for making friends.”
Millie’s long, blonde hair falls around her face to perfectly frame her pout. Heidi rolls her eyes.
“We’re not monsters,” Heidi says. “We’d let you pick the glitter color, and the feathers, too.” She eyes my dress. “You like pink? Pink looksgreatwith green.”
Millie’s pout transforms as she whips her head up and down in enthusiastic agreement. “Totally. My house is pink and green! We could match!”
Um. I look around at her house, which I am currently standing in, slime-free. “Your house is covered in green slime and pink feathers and glitter?”
