No one is looking at me anymore.Or at the cake.Their attention has swung toward the gangway, heads turning in unison.I follow their gaze just as the crowd parts and someone steps aboard.I turn to see what they’re staring at and then I see him.
My father.
Time crawls.Everything moves in slow motion.I feel like I’m sinking to the bottom of the ocean.This can’t be real, but Dad keeps walking towards me, impeccably dressed, with his expression as smooth and as unreadable as ever.Conversation stops completely.The music cuts off.
Dex swears under his breath.
Rio laughs, incredulous.“I don’t fucking believe it.”
Raquel hisses at him to be quiet.
“You said he was abroad,” Jett says, his tone accusatory.
I thought he was abroad, too.Maya’s hand in mine stiffens.She gasps loudly, and then her hand goes slack in mine.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” someone says, maybe Matteo.“How the hell did this happen?”
Enzo turns to face me.“Are you okay?Did you know?”
I shake my head.“Had no fucking idea.”
Even the crowd can feel it.I snap out of it and straighten instinctively, trying to recapture the moment.I recompose myself quickly, because it’s so obvious that the mood has turned sour.I don’t want my father to feel bad for making the effort to come to my party.
This isn’t too bad,I tell myself.But it feels like a lie.The truth is, my father has killed everything—the atmosphere, the buzz, the excitement.Every feel-good emotion that was floating around the balmy summer air has vanished.
His presence chills the night like a wave of subzero cold.I feel torn, like I always did as a child.Stuck between my brothers and my father.Where does my loyalty lie?Where does my honesty go?He’s ill, and he made an effort to come tonight.I should feel happy.
I should.
“Hey, Dad.”I step forward.Maya lets go of my hand.
“Happy birthday,” he says.
No hug.No warmth.Just a cold, clipped handshake.Like we’re signing another business deal.Like we’re in a boardroom, and not at my fucking birthday party with guests watching.
“Glad you made it.”
“Couldn’t stay away,” he says.“Thought I should be here.”
I force a smile.Maya stands behind me, quiet as a mouse.So very still that I toss a glance at her over my shoulder.I’m puzzled by the sudden tension in her posture and by the tightness in her expression.And how she’s moved away to be behind me.Cari’s eyes flick to Maya, then to my father.Her brow creases, like she’s noticed something I haven’t.
“Can we have a glass of champagne?”I summon a server, needing to break the sullen mood.Brooke hugs her elephant tighter, sinking back against Jett’s legs.I glance at Maya again but she feels so far away.Too far away for me to say anything.I want to tell her it’s fine.I want to whisper in her ear that he won’t stay long, but she’s not with me.She’s looking away like she wants to disappear into the darkness.
I turn back to Dad, determined to keep things smooth.
Should I introduce him to Maya?
A strange unease coils in my gut and tells me, ‘no.’The way she looks right now, it wouldn’t be the right thing to do.The air feels thicker, and something unseen lurks in the shadows.
“Well.”Dad raises his glass and addresses the guests.“How about we sing properly this time?”
That’s the right cue because people start singing again.Louder.With forced enthusiasm.My brothers, too, join in and sing with renewed vigor.I instinctively reach for Maya’s hand, but she’s clasped hers together, in front of her, and I can’t get to hold her hand.She’s moved away from the table.
I gesture for her to come back to me, but she shakes her head, and suddenly my thirtieth birthday feels like an ending.
Chapter 31
MAYA
