I move to the door.“Come in.”
“I want to ask you something,” Zach whispers, his voice so low that only I hear.
I resist the urge to kiss him.
“Nice to meet you, Zach!”Fleur says, behind me, looking like she’s not about to go anywhere and let us have some privacy.
“Likewise.”He walks in, his gaze sweeping around our tiny apartment.“My brothers are throwing me a thirtieth birthday party and … I would love for you to be there.”
My breath stalls in my throat at the speed of the announcement.I’m thrilled that he’s asked me, but I’m torn, because I can’t be there.I don’t know how to deal with this.How to decline politely without hurting him.
“It’s nothing big, at least I hope not,” he says, reassuringly.“I told them to keep it small, but small is relative.I’d really like for you to be there.”
The room goes very quiet.Fleur’s gaze snaps between us.“A birthday party?”She has the ears of a dog hearing the crinkle of a treat bag.Her gaze bounces from me to Zach and back to me again.She taps me on the arm.“Yes.Say ‘yes.’”
“I’d really love for you to be there,” Zach implores, looking at me like he doesn’t understand my reaction.
“I can’t,” I say too quickly.
A birthday party, with his brothers and his father there?I don’t think so.Aside from the fact that coming face to face with his father would creep me out, I can’t do this to Mom.What would she think?
Then why are you with Zach?
I’ve tried to suppress this thought, but it’s been impossible, because being with him, finally giving in, felt so right.So familiar and safe.Like coming home.I’ve been so caught up in our own cozy bubble, that I pushed what Mom would have to say about this out of my mind.
His face falls.“Why not?”
I take a step back and scramble to think of an excuse.“Because ...I have … other plans.”
His brows crease.“I haven’t even told you when it is.”
“I know when it is,” I say quietly.I remember.
He looks surprised, then shrugs.“I remember yours, too.”The things that linger forever, dates, memories, precious moments.His expression sobers because my reaction is so muted.
“It’s not going to be on the actual day, Maya.It’ll be on the Saturday after.”
“I’ve got work stuff,” I say vaguely.“And Fleur and I were talking about doing something …” I gesture vaguely at my friend.
Fleur lets out a soft, incredulous laugh.“Were we?”
Zach looks at me, head tilted like he can’t work out my hesitation.This should have been straightforward.An easy answer.A definite ‘yes’.Only, I’m behaving strangely and he looks at me like he doesn’t understand.I can’t blame him.I’d react the same if I were in his shoes.
“It’ll just be us, my family, and some friends,” he says, doing his best to convince me.
Then I most definitely can’t be there.“I really can’t.”My tone is firmer now.“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Not a goodidea?”His disappointment is immediate and unguarded.“I’m turning thirty, and we’re having a party.”He pauses, watching me intently.“Did I do something wrong?”
“Of course not.It’s just … it’s just …” I scramble for good, realistic reasons.“It’s a lot.”
“What is?”
“The last time I saw your brothers was when I was living with my mom, in the staff annex.Mom was your housekeeper, and now you’re expecting me to go to your party, as your girlfriend.Don’t you see how awkward that might be?”
“For whom?”
“For me,” I reply quietly.
