She loved reading the classics, world literature and stories that seemed far bigger than the life she was living—at least, that’s what she said when I once asked her why she read those books.She said she liked being transported to another world, another time.She liked feeling things through fictional characters, feelings she wouldn’t otherwise experience herself.
The calmness in her drew me towards her, and thinking about her now sends a ripple of emotions bubbling inside me.I’ve never been nervous about a date before.
Or dinner.
It’s just dinner,I remind myself, knowing that Maya insisted that distinction.
The thought that I will have her to myself, across a table, and get to discover what’s been going on in her life, fills me with a restless anticipation.I can’t sit still, and while my father is still on the phone, I check her social media account, something I’ve been doing multiple times daily, just to get a connection to her, to find out whatever I can about her.
She doesn’t post much.A few times a month.Right now I’m staring at a silly, drunken photo of her from a friend’s birthday night out, her smile wide and carefree, like the smile she used to give me.
“Trying to find another little plaything on the app, are we?”
I look up to find a slow curl of contempt on my father’s lip.“Don’t strain yourself, son.A Knight shouldn’t need an app to find a woman.Just say the word and I’ll arrange for you to be with someone who is worth your time.”
I clench my jaw in disgust.I used to be able to dismiss his sordid comments easily before, but increasingly I’m finding him too much to bear.It could be that he’s even more misogynistic than usual, more condescending and more obsessed with control and status.It could be that he’s always been like this, always this bad, but I’ve let it go.
It’s what the others have seen, but I’ve chosen to turn a blind eye, and now I’m finding it harder than ever to do that.
“That’s a very condescending word,plaything.” I stare him down.He doesn’t flinch.
His eyes fill with amusement.“Fitting though, no?”
My collar suddenly feels tight and I almost reach to loosen it, but catch myself.
I mustn’t flinch.
Or show unease.
“Girlfriends are not playthings.”What the hell?I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with him.I had half a mind to tell him about Maya, because he would remember her, and her mother, but something in his expression and tone warns me to keep it quiet.
My father caught us in the library once, not long after I’d told Maya she could go in there.She and I were just talking.Maybe standing too close.Fingers brushing lightly.He walked in, and stopped, his gaze dropping immediately to where our fingers brushed together.
Maya pulled away first, like she’d been electric-shocked.She fled without a word, rushing past my father who stood rooted in the same spot, his eyes fixed on me.His disapproval was immediate and unmistakable.I sensed he didn’t like Maya and I knew I had to keep the growing attraction between us a secret.
“People like that do not cross into our lives.Ever.”
I’ll never forget his words, and I didn’t miss the threat wrapped up in his words.After that I was forced to be careful and I tried to protect Maya by keeping my distance, but it wasn’t easy.I didn’t want to keep away from her.
Who am I kidding?He won’t be pleased that I’m going to have dinner with the housekeeper’s daughter.
I’ve always tried to keep peace in our family, but now I’m questioning myself.Was that the right thing to do?I’ve dismissed his bitterness and casual misogyny for years, smoothed it over and told myself it’s easier not to challenge him.But drawing a line now is going to be hard.
“Where were we?”he asks.
“We were talking about Stella.”
“Ah.Get the numbers.All of them.Don’t rely on what they choose to show you.”His mouth curves, as he nods, contemplating.“Observe first.Let them reveal their weaknesses.Then decide how you infiltrate.”
Infiltrate?I hadn’t planned on being stealthy.I don’t like doing sneaky things.“I’m still thinking about it,” I say, vaguely.
He looks out the window.He knows me and my brothers are all still sore about what he did with Daniela’s father’s company, AO Eletronica.It was wrong, and it pissed Dex off.Jett was already mad at Dad, before any of that, but that stunt he pulled really did him no favors.
Then he tried to get even with Rio and Raquel.I hang my head.I’ve never dissected these things in too much detail before.Never put them under the microscope, because I didn’t want to examine them closely, but just running through them now, with Rio’s issues so fresh in my mind, I’m starting to realize that my father isn’t ever going to change.
He needs that killer instinct to stay on top.
That’s why he’s been so successful, I tell myself, but I’m making excuses again.Maybe I’m blind.That’s why the others laugh at me.They say I’m too gullible.Too doting.
